Laughing At Myself

If we lived in a world that required no money I would be a stay at home mom. And even after today, yes, I would still want to stay home. But I really find myself laughing at the adventures of today. I decided to take today and tomorrow off from work. I have noticed Madison needing some extra time with us so I decided it was more important to ensure that she had that time with us than to stick to the normal schedule of work and then home. Today was not the ideal stay at home day though. Normally when I'm home with Madison it's a fairly good day but something happened right about 3:30....shortly after the nap that did not happen.

Now we all have our ideas of how it would be like to stay home with our children and then there is reality of course. I have always had high respect for mothers who stay at home. I wish there were more that did. I have had the desire to be a stay at home mom for a while now but I caught myself laughing today when I thought about that. Right after Madison decided that she was not going to take a nap the girl went off the hook!! It was kind of funny yet not at all at the same time. Even though she layed down like I asked her too she did not fall asleep. And if anyone knows how to actually make your child fall asleep please share but otherwise, she did atleast lay down. But once I let her get up it was crazy from there. You would think that someone who normally gets a nap would have less energy when they go with out one. But that's not the case with my child, atleast, not as she gets older. Madison decided this evening that it would be fun to chase mommy around the house. Now of course that wasn't my idea of a fun time but I went with it. Thought maybe it would wear her out even more for bed time. Nope...she just kept going. Running, playing in her room, playing with her princess castle in the living room, playing ball...shall I go on? And to make this evening even funnier (ok so now it's not funny any more...) she's decided that she is not going to sleep tonight. This is the second night in the row the child has done this. Madison typically does very well with bed time but it's been a battle the past two nights. So apparently I am now struggling with bed time with my 3 year old...that makes no sense for a 30 year old to struggle with a 3 year old by the way. Something else I am struggling with is knowing as a mom how to handle your child in public. If she doesn't do what I say when we're outside of the home I have to have the strength to discipline her no matter where we are at. That's not always easy. Sometimes we just want a nice dinner but with a three year old you never know what you're going to get.

So with the stay at home thing verses working...I know what's on my mind when I'm at work...you know, "man I wish I was at home" but don't get me wrong. I am so looking forward to being home with Madison for the rest of the weekend cause she is my joy!! But I'm going to be brutally honest. Working a job that requires 40 hours of my time is much easier than being a stay at home mom 24/7. Being a stay at home mom never stops! It's a 24 hour a day job. I get to go to work Monday thru Friday and then come home to spend the evening with Madison. Though I am still a mom no matter where I am, and I still check up on my child through out the day, I have someone else watching her. When I go to work I am in my own office. I meet with client's who I schedule to meet with me. I have a schedule that typically is pretty routine. You can have a schedule with a child but there are going to be plenty of days where that schedule is not carried out.

Now don't go hating me cause I'm being honest about being a mom. Being a mom is absolutely one of the best things I have done. I love it and I love my child but there are moments we have to all be honest. I have a lot of fun with her but let's just say I was thankful today to have a job outside of the home!! And I praised God for that thought actually because as a working mom I want to be content with working. I don't want to find myself at work completely hating being there and just wishing I was at home...if that were the case I would be miserable. So I am thankful that I have a job that is very important. I am thankful that when I am at home I have an amazing family to be with then when I'm at work I have people that truly need me to be there. I'm sure every working mother understands exactly what I'm saying...or maybe I'm the only one. But being a mom is not suppose to be easy. No mother is better just because they stay home with their child or because they work outside of the home. It's what you are doing with your child when you are with them. Making sure you are giving them the attention they need and that they know you love them. Having the respect from you child to follow directions when you give them. That can be a hard one. But all of us parents are on a constant learning phase. Even those with older children who have grown and moved away. We are constantly learning as parents. I just pray that God helps me out with this bed time routine a little sooner than later ;) Bedtime has normally been a simple thing but as Madison gets a little older I'm noticing bedtime to be somewhat difficult...pray for me!!!