So I am struggling a little tonight as I attempt to make a grocery list to start for next week. I am not in the mood to plan a "HEALTHY" list so I decided to just stop and wait till I am ready to. Eating healthy is a forever adventure for me. Ups and downs!! But I know it's important for me to do so. I feel like I have accomplished getting off of caffiene so now I am attempting to be more consistant in eating healthy. I have gone from picking up Diet Mt Dew through out the day to constantly refilling my water bottle which I'm really excited about! Getting past the headaches was a little tough but I'm so glad I stuck with it.
Tonight I made the Baked Zitti from the Weight Watcher's facebook fan page. I actually used wheat pasta instead and James liked it! So we are slowly building our list of healthy recipes that we like. I've got to get better at doing alot of cooking on the weekend so that I can freeze those meals and have them ready for during the week. It's when I am coming home and very tired that I am most likely to cook something quick and unhealthy. It would be great to be able to pull that meal that I cooked over the weekend out of the freezer and warm it up. It's a goal so I'm working towards it. It will not start this weekend though, but I will work towards it making next weekend's goal.
This is a very busy week. Through all the personal goals I have and the daily schedules I just keep telling myself "just keep swimming, just keep swimming!" Praying God keeps my energy level up so that I can keep up with all of the demands on my schedule! Praying this week as people prepare for Easter Sunday that they will remember what Christ did for us even after this Sunday has past. Praying people find a church family they can connect with and continue coming and growing in Christ. I would love for everyone to experience the joy and the blessing it is to grow in Christ and to serve Him. Hope everyone has a restful night!! I'm sure hoping I do :)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Over This Weekend...
Over this weekend I have noticed some things...
I could visibly see my child growing older.
I faced a "small" fear and survived.
James really thinks alot of our preacher. James was heart broken when it started raining Friday evening and he couldn't cook out...his words were: "But he deserves steaks not pizza". So sweet...
Our preacher has a growing interest in karoake that will be much fun to encourage!
My heart truly goes out to young girls/teens/women that are searching for acceptance and confidence...
I have a crazy husband...need I say more?
My neighbor enjoys the company of the neighborhood children.
My husband can not dance with out injuring himself.
WBCC teens are awesome.
I have not had a headache for a couple of days and I am on day 8 of no caffiene!!
I am getting to know people better at church and am cherishing those moments.
My husband is stubborn and still thinks he can do anything even though he's not suppose to be on his leg :)
Madison has been super sweet these last few weeks and doing a wonderful job in listening and doing what I say.
I am truly enjoying the Easter Drama this year because I chose to not sing as I would normally do. I decided it was okay to not be in the "Cantata" as some expected. God blessed my decision!
I saw some of God's little blessings that made me smile.
That was my weekend in a nutshell. My once again very random blog. Looking forward to this very busy week and the blessings I know it will bring!
I could visibly see my child growing older.
I faced a "small" fear and survived.
James really thinks alot of our preacher. James was heart broken when it started raining Friday evening and he couldn't cook out...his words were: "But he deserves steaks not pizza". So sweet...
Our preacher has a growing interest in karoake that will be much fun to encourage!
My heart truly goes out to young girls/teens/women that are searching for acceptance and confidence...
I have a crazy husband...need I say more?
My neighbor enjoys the company of the neighborhood children.
My husband can not dance with out injuring himself.
WBCC teens are awesome.
I have not had a headache for a couple of days and I am on day 8 of no caffiene!!
I am getting to know people better at church and am cherishing those moments.
My husband is stubborn and still thinks he can do anything even though he's not suppose to be on his leg :)
Madison has been super sweet these last few weeks and doing a wonderful job in listening and doing what I say.
I am truly enjoying the Easter Drama this year because I chose to not sing as I would normally do. I decided it was okay to not be in the "Cantata" as some expected. God blessed my decision!
I saw some of God's little blessings that made me smile.
That was my weekend in a nutshell. My once again very random blog. Looking forward to this very busy week and the blessings I know it will bring!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Quick and Healthy Snack
I love it when I find a healthy snack that I actually enjoy! So I thought I'd share. This is a recipe I found from Weight Watchers. Enjoy!!
Hot Fiesta Dip
You will need:
10oz package frozen whole kernel corn
1 1/2 cups refridgerated salsa
3/4 cup reduced fat shredded mexican style cheese
2 tbsp chopped scallion
Microwave frozen corn according to the package directions. Drain. Combine corn and salsa in a microwave safe 9 inch pie plate. Cover with plastic wrap; vent. Microwave on high 2 minutes or until bubbly. Sprinkle cheddar cheese over corn mixture; cover and let stand 5 minutes or until cheese melts. Top with chopped scallion.
When we make this snack we actually make it with out the chopped scallion. But you make it how you like it! Serve this dip with baked tortilla chips.
Hot Fiesta Dip
You will need:
10oz package frozen whole kernel corn
1 1/2 cups refridgerated salsa
3/4 cup reduced fat shredded mexican style cheese
2 tbsp chopped scallion
Microwave frozen corn according to the package directions. Drain. Combine corn and salsa in a microwave safe 9 inch pie plate. Cover with plastic wrap; vent. Microwave on high 2 minutes or until bubbly. Sprinkle cheddar cheese over corn mixture; cover and let stand 5 minutes or until cheese melts. Top with chopped scallion.
When we make this snack we actually make it with out the chopped scallion. But you make it how you like it! Serve this dip with baked tortilla chips.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Being Uncomfortable
I read a facebook status today that I really liked. I have blogged on it before but it was a nice reminder for me today. I think God works like that. God uses our everyday life to remind us of those little things to direct us back to Him. It was a status that talked about living a comfortable life. I've blogged before how I felt I was currently living a comfortable life and realized that in order for my faith to grow I would have to step out of my comfort zone. So that has been on my mind tonight.
It's always exciting to try something new, yet scary at the same time. Sometimes it's necessary to do things out of fear. Sometimes our faith doesn't kick in until we are doing something that we have no idea how it will turn out. I know that when I am doing something that requires faith to get me through it's then I am really doing what God wants me to do. Not everything we do will require "being out of our comfort zone" but there should be times when we are taking those uncomfortable steps of faith. Another facebook status I read a while back that ties in to this is "what are you doing today that requires faith". That too was a reminder yet more like a slap in the face. What am I doing today that requires faith?? Really and honestly, not a whole lot! We live very comfortable lives that we plan out. We know how much money to make to pay our bills, we plan our grocery list so that we have food to eat, we make plans for vacations that we desire to take in order to get away from the every day norm, etc. But what are we doing that is out of the norm. How are we applying God's word to our every day life. Now don't get me wrong on this, I'm not saying that if you are not living out of your comfort zone then you are not living for God. But what I am saying is if we are comfortable day in and day out then maybe we need to reevaluate our purpose in life. I know I have to reevaluate regularly. I get very comfortable in what I do. But I have found in my moments of complete nervousness that it's after those moments that I have grown.
People are so different so what may be uncomfortable for one person may not be for another. Something that I really enjoy doing yet find that does not come naturally is being hospitable. Something as simple as having people over to my house can be stressful. I find that I have so much fun having people over but the part of preparing is nerve wrecking for me at times. And the more I look at my reasonings to why, I realize that it actually has nothing to do with having people over to my house. I find that I am very uncomfortable with the idea of having to cook for guests. I know that I can follow simple directions and recipes but I also know I am no chef!! While this may all seem very little in the light of how we would normally view taking leaps of faith for God, I know that it is part of everyday life for me that I am yet to be comfortable with. Something I had to learn was that I needed to not try to make new dishes or try to make things that were difficult to make. For me, the key is keeping it simple. And so having people over now is an absolute blast. We get to know people so much better when we have had them over to our home. And isn't that what it's all about? Getting to know people and sharing your life with them. Of course in our world, it's not always necessary to have them in our home since our world is becoming more and more virtual. Which is another positive to my blogging.
You will find in our home that we are very laid back. Sometimes I may not be the best host and have the nicest things to serve your food on but hopefully you will enjoy your time here and learn a little bit of what we are about. I find that sharing our life with others is so very important, weaknesses and all!! I know that I will grow in my area of hospitality as I get older but I do view it as something I am taking a step of faith on. Hopefully I am not the only one that struggles with this and if so, I know that God is there with me even in these little things. We all have those little things that we feel we should not be fearful in doing but yet we still are. Just know that it's okay and that is what faith is for.
It's always exciting to try something new, yet scary at the same time. Sometimes it's necessary to do things out of fear. Sometimes our faith doesn't kick in until we are doing something that we have no idea how it will turn out. I know that when I am doing something that requires faith to get me through it's then I am really doing what God wants me to do. Not everything we do will require "being out of our comfort zone" but there should be times when we are taking those uncomfortable steps of faith. Another facebook status I read a while back that ties in to this is "what are you doing today that requires faith". That too was a reminder yet more like a slap in the face. What am I doing today that requires faith?? Really and honestly, not a whole lot! We live very comfortable lives that we plan out. We know how much money to make to pay our bills, we plan our grocery list so that we have food to eat, we make plans for vacations that we desire to take in order to get away from the every day norm, etc. But what are we doing that is out of the norm. How are we applying God's word to our every day life. Now don't get me wrong on this, I'm not saying that if you are not living out of your comfort zone then you are not living for God. But what I am saying is if we are comfortable day in and day out then maybe we need to reevaluate our purpose in life. I know I have to reevaluate regularly. I get very comfortable in what I do. But I have found in my moments of complete nervousness that it's after those moments that I have grown.
People are so different so what may be uncomfortable for one person may not be for another. Something that I really enjoy doing yet find that does not come naturally is being hospitable. Something as simple as having people over to my house can be stressful. I find that I have so much fun having people over but the part of preparing is nerve wrecking for me at times. And the more I look at my reasonings to why, I realize that it actually has nothing to do with having people over to my house. I find that I am very uncomfortable with the idea of having to cook for guests. I know that I can follow simple directions and recipes but I also know I am no chef!! While this may all seem very little in the light of how we would normally view taking leaps of faith for God, I know that it is part of everyday life for me that I am yet to be comfortable with. Something I had to learn was that I needed to not try to make new dishes or try to make things that were difficult to make. For me, the key is keeping it simple. And so having people over now is an absolute blast. We get to know people so much better when we have had them over to our home. And isn't that what it's all about? Getting to know people and sharing your life with them. Of course in our world, it's not always necessary to have them in our home since our world is becoming more and more virtual. Which is another positive to my blogging.
You will find in our home that we are very laid back. Sometimes I may not be the best host and have the nicest things to serve your food on but hopefully you will enjoy your time here and learn a little bit of what we are about. I find that sharing our life with others is so very important, weaknesses and all!! I know that I will grow in my area of hospitality as I get older but I do view it as something I am taking a step of faith on. Hopefully I am not the only one that struggles with this and if so, I know that God is there with me even in these little things. We all have those little things that we feel we should not be fearful in doing but yet we still are. Just know that it's okay and that is what faith is for.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Day 3
It's day 3 of no caffiene. If you have ever gone through any kind of withdrawal you know how I am feeling. I have had a painful headache all day. Makes it hard to focus on what's going on and even trying to engage in a conversation. Despite how I have been feeling it has been a good day though. I know I will get past these initial days of withdrawal and it will be worth it.
Today we had clinicals and then training so it was nice to have something other than the usual office day. Our training was a nice reminder of making sure we are taking care of ourselves not only as professionals in our job but also as individuals away from our job. We all talked about ways we relieve stress and take time for ourselves and one of my ways was blogging. I have found that blogging has been very therapeutic for me. Now granted, it means you guys are catching all my thoughts!! But it has been a nice journey and a nice way to unwind at the end of the day.
Something else we were reminded of at this training is that the clients we serve are individuals too. Sometimes it's easy to get into the swing of things and a routine and judge a person by the diagnosis you have given them rather than looking at the positives in that person's life and the events that have made that person who they are today. We should never think we are better than someone else. I work with people who are on probation and also with paroles, people who have been in prison. It's easy for us to think that we are better but we're not. I have to be reminded sometimes that these very people in my office need to feel like they are one of us, like they belong. They are already placed with a stereotype once entering the court system with a record that will follow them, so our clients need to see that not everyone is looking at them with the same light. They need to know that someone still has that hope that life doesn't just get worse from here. I like knowing that I can be that light for someone. Makes the job worth it.
And of course, my husband reminded me of the very same thing today. We were talking on the phone and I was telling him how I was still having headaches from not drinking caffiene and how I knew if I just drank a diet dew my headache would go away. James, being the humbling man that he his ;), reminded me that my clients go through that every day. They experience those withdrawal symptoms at a higher intensity and even stronger urge to use knowing it will make them feel better for the moment. I love him and how he always puts things in perspective. And while I know my client's go through these things, it's been a positive reminder for me coming off something as simple as caffiene. It's a reminder for me to be more empathetic towards my client and to meet them where they are on their road to recovery.
So what do I have the urge to do when I have headaches from no caffiene!!??? Eat!! Which reminds me! Virginia, here is your recipe :) James and I do like this recipe and I espcially like it because it's super easy to make. It's also from the Weight Watcher's cookbook and is only 5 points. It's 292 calories, 3 g fat, and 4 g fiber.
Baked Stuffed Potatoes with Ham and Cheese:
You will need: 4 (8 ounce) baking potatoes
1/3 cup fat free sour cream
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup diced lean deli ham
1 cup shredded fat free cheddar cheese
Chopped fresh chives
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with foil.
2. With a fork, prick the potatoes in several places. Place on the baking sheet and bake for 50 minutes.
3. Wearing oven mitts, cut off and discard a thin slice from each potato. Scoop out the potato flesh, leaving a 1/4 inch wall. Transfer the flesh to a medium bowl and mash with the sour cream, salt, and pepper. Spoon the filling evenly back into the potato shells. Top the potatoes evenly with the ham and cheese.
4. Preheat the broiler. Return the potatoes to the baking sheet and broil until the cheese is melted, about 3 minutes. Sprinkle evenly with the chives.
Hope you enjoy the recipe!! I'm always looking for quick and easy recipes that are healthy. Trying to get the strength to follow through this evening with the dinner that was planned but I'm not sure how that will go. May have to be a quick dinner night instead. Now I am off to clean a little and get my mind off this headache!!
Today we had clinicals and then training so it was nice to have something other than the usual office day. Our training was a nice reminder of making sure we are taking care of ourselves not only as professionals in our job but also as individuals away from our job. We all talked about ways we relieve stress and take time for ourselves and one of my ways was blogging. I have found that blogging has been very therapeutic for me. Now granted, it means you guys are catching all my thoughts!! But it has been a nice journey and a nice way to unwind at the end of the day.
Something else we were reminded of at this training is that the clients we serve are individuals too. Sometimes it's easy to get into the swing of things and a routine and judge a person by the diagnosis you have given them rather than looking at the positives in that person's life and the events that have made that person who they are today. We should never think we are better than someone else. I work with people who are on probation and also with paroles, people who have been in prison. It's easy for us to think that we are better but we're not. I have to be reminded sometimes that these very people in my office need to feel like they are one of us, like they belong. They are already placed with a stereotype once entering the court system with a record that will follow them, so our clients need to see that not everyone is looking at them with the same light. They need to know that someone still has that hope that life doesn't just get worse from here. I like knowing that I can be that light for someone. Makes the job worth it.
And of course, my husband reminded me of the very same thing today. We were talking on the phone and I was telling him how I was still having headaches from not drinking caffiene and how I knew if I just drank a diet dew my headache would go away. James, being the humbling man that he his ;), reminded me that my clients go through that every day. They experience those withdrawal symptoms at a higher intensity and even stronger urge to use knowing it will make them feel better for the moment. I love him and how he always puts things in perspective. And while I know my client's go through these things, it's been a positive reminder for me coming off something as simple as caffiene. It's a reminder for me to be more empathetic towards my client and to meet them where they are on their road to recovery.
So what do I have the urge to do when I have headaches from no caffiene!!??? Eat!! Which reminds me! Virginia, here is your recipe :) James and I do like this recipe and I espcially like it because it's super easy to make. It's also from the Weight Watcher's cookbook and is only 5 points. It's 292 calories, 3 g fat, and 4 g fiber.
Baked Stuffed Potatoes with Ham and Cheese:
You will need: 4 (8 ounce) baking potatoes
1/3 cup fat free sour cream
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup diced lean deli ham
1 cup shredded fat free cheddar cheese
Chopped fresh chives
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with foil.
2. With a fork, prick the potatoes in several places. Place on the baking sheet and bake for 50 minutes.
3. Wearing oven mitts, cut off and discard a thin slice from each potato. Scoop out the potato flesh, leaving a 1/4 inch wall. Transfer the flesh to a medium bowl and mash with the sour cream, salt, and pepper. Spoon the filling evenly back into the potato shells. Top the potatoes evenly with the ham and cheese.
4. Preheat the broiler. Return the potatoes to the baking sheet and broil until the cheese is melted, about 3 minutes. Sprinkle evenly with the chives.
Hope you enjoy the recipe!! I'm always looking for quick and easy recipes that are healthy. Trying to get the strength to follow through this evening with the dinner that was planned but I'm not sure how that will go. May have to be a quick dinner night instead. Now I am off to clean a little and get my mind off this headache!!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
A Little Edgy...
I think today has been a very long day for me. I didn't realize just how long it really seemed until about ten minutes ago. I am on day two of no caffiene. I have replaced my diet mountain dew with water. I know it's the healthy thing to do and it will make me feel so much better. I am currently going thru the withdrawal of having no caffiene so I have had a headache all day long. I know that I can do this and I'm thinking I should be past most of the withdrawal by tomorrow. And let's hope for James' sake I am over it! Withdrawal can make a person a little edgy!!
It's crazy how addicted we can get to things and how difficult it can be to take it away. But I'm finding that the idea of just having something to drink is what I need. So now I carry a water bottle with me to work instead of a diet dew. I find that I can think much clearer and am more productive at work. I have been on kicks before where I stopped caffiene and it was great but somehow that dew snuck back in the picture :)
Tonight for supper I made stuffed baked potatoes with ham and cheese. It was another recipe I got out of the weight watcher's cook book. It's very filling. After dinner we all were pretty tired which worked out for me being the caffiene addict and all ;) So we had some down time after dinner and then we decided to get in some good time with Madison by playing in her room with her. She's so funny with her daddy. She loves to pretend he's the pirate and that she needs mommy to save her. Gotta love kids!
You'll have to excuse my thoughts as I really do have quite the headache tonight. So my thoughts may not flow too well. James and I were talking about our plans for the weekend and we are looking forward to the company we have coming over Friday night. We've been wanting to have this couple over for a while now and between busy schedules and life I think we may finally get too! I talk about it all the time but it's crazy how our schedules fill up. Saturday we are going to see Grandma Grace and Grandaddy Carol. We are planning to stop by that morning to spend time with them and then hopefully have a day for James, Madison, and I to hang out maybe at the beach or where ever we decide. I would love to get some good pictures of Madison at the beach. I also need to find her an Easter dress. I know....I've waited to long right?! I do it every year honestly but I know I will find her a pretty dress. I want to get her Easter pictures taken. I'm really bad about going out to get professional pictures taken but I do want to for Easter. So I better get on the ball with that!! I am always snapping pictures of my own but it can be nice to have pictures that are professional on occasion.
I'm hoping the rest of my work week goes well. I know once I get past this caffiene withdrawal I will be fine. It's just getting there. I guess once I officially get off caffiene I will think about what will be my next step to work towards. Hope everyone is having a good week! Don't forget to slow down and spend time with your family even if you are too tired and don't feel like it. I remember a while back before I had a family being told to always go out with your family and spend time with them even though you just got off of work. To not rely on how tired you are feeling but to decide to go and have fun after work despite that. I have remembered that for years now and I have tried to practice that. Having fun with the family doesn't mean that I even have to leave my house but it does mean that I need to make sure I am attentive to my family despite the huge desire to just crash!! It's so rewarding. So thankful for the family God has blessed me with and the people in my life that make life so worth it.
It's crazy how addicted we can get to things and how difficult it can be to take it away. But I'm finding that the idea of just having something to drink is what I need. So now I carry a water bottle with me to work instead of a diet dew. I find that I can think much clearer and am more productive at work. I have been on kicks before where I stopped caffiene and it was great but somehow that dew snuck back in the picture :)
Tonight for supper I made stuffed baked potatoes with ham and cheese. It was another recipe I got out of the weight watcher's cook book. It's very filling. After dinner we all were pretty tired which worked out for me being the caffiene addict and all ;) So we had some down time after dinner and then we decided to get in some good time with Madison by playing in her room with her. She's so funny with her daddy. She loves to pretend he's the pirate and that she needs mommy to save her. Gotta love kids!
You'll have to excuse my thoughts as I really do have quite the headache tonight. So my thoughts may not flow too well. James and I were talking about our plans for the weekend and we are looking forward to the company we have coming over Friday night. We've been wanting to have this couple over for a while now and between busy schedules and life I think we may finally get too! I talk about it all the time but it's crazy how our schedules fill up. Saturday we are going to see Grandma Grace and Grandaddy Carol. We are planning to stop by that morning to spend time with them and then hopefully have a day for James, Madison, and I to hang out maybe at the beach or where ever we decide. I would love to get some good pictures of Madison at the beach. I also need to find her an Easter dress. I know....I've waited to long right?! I do it every year honestly but I know I will find her a pretty dress. I want to get her Easter pictures taken. I'm really bad about going out to get professional pictures taken but I do want to for Easter. So I better get on the ball with that!! I am always snapping pictures of my own but it can be nice to have pictures that are professional on occasion.
I'm hoping the rest of my work week goes well. I know once I get past this caffiene withdrawal I will be fine. It's just getting there. I guess once I officially get off caffiene I will think about what will be my next step to work towards. Hope everyone is having a good week! Don't forget to slow down and spend time with your family even if you are too tired and don't feel like it. I remember a while back before I had a family being told to always go out with your family and spend time with them even though you just got off of work. To not rely on how tired you are feeling but to decide to go and have fun after work despite that. I have remembered that for years now and I have tried to practice that. Having fun with the family doesn't mean that I even have to leave my house but it does mean that I need to make sure I am attentive to my family despite the huge desire to just crash!! It's so rewarding. So thankful for the family God has blessed me with and the people in my life that make life so worth it.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Thoughts As I Wind Down...
I just wanted to slow down a bit and take a few moments and blog. It's been a good weekend and a good start to my week. I don't have too much on my mind this evening other than a blog I've been keeping up with and a few other things. I'm praising God that Jennifer and Dave now have a baby of their own. Praising God for how He has worked in their life. Makes me especially thankful for my little family and the way God has worked through us.
I want to let you guys know about the Easter Drama that will be put on at our church. It's at West Belhaven Church of Christ on April 1 & 2 at 7:00, which is a Thursday and Friday. It's going to be amazing. I'm playing the part of the harlot and it's a very humbling role. Yes, go ahead and chuckle....I found it amusing too. But getting into the "role" will be a very emotional thing as I put myself in her shoes and the shame she must have felt as she approached Jesus. I encourage you guys to come out and see it. There's been alot of time and effort put in planning it from alot of good people at WBCC. It will be worth your time.
I'm looking forward to my evening with my family. Had a full day at work and now it's time to relax. We're cooking out hamburgers and spending time with Madison until her bedtime. Once she's in bed we get to have movie night :) Such a sweet life...
I want to let you guys know about the Easter Drama that will be put on at our church. It's at West Belhaven Church of Christ on April 1 & 2 at 7:00, which is a Thursday and Friday. It's going to be amazing. I'm playing the part of the harlot and it's a very humbling role. Yes, go ahead and chuckle....I found it amusing too. But getting into the "role" will be a very emotional thing as I put myself in her shoes and the shame she must have felt as she approached Jesus. I encourage you guys to come out and see it. There's been alot of time and effort put in planning it from alot of good people at WBCC. It will be worth your time.
I'm looking forward to my evening with my family. Had a full day at work and now it's time to relax. We're cooking out hamburgers and spending time with Madison until her bedtime. Once she's in bed we get to have movie night :) Such a sweet life...
Friday, March 19, 2010
In Tears
I normally would not post twice in one day but I couldn't resist sharing what happened while putting Madison to sleep. Just after we had completed our nightly routine for bedtime including reading her last book, we said our prayers. Well tonight Madison read the last book to me. Well, read to me in the sense that she saw the pictures and said her version of the story :) Afterwards we said our prayers. Usually we would say them together but tonight Madison took the lead and it went a little something like this: "Thank you God for Mommy and Daddy, the truck, the car, my bed, papa, and grandma, mammy, Tina, mommy, and daddy. Amen." By the end of this prayer I was trying to pull myself together to a normal voice so that she couldn't tell I was crying. I was so proud of her and how her little heart was so sincere in thanking God for the simplest of things like her bed. I also found comfort in hearing her thank God for her babysitter. She is growing up so fast and it is such an incredible joy hearing your child pray.
Getting Back On Track
Today is one of those days you realize you should have started a long time ago working that weight off because it's warming up!! So my goal for this weekend is to yet again get back in the swing of things with exercising and cooking healthy. Got off track last week and when I get off track that means my family is off track.
The lifestyle you live does not only affect "you". It also affects those who spend alot of time with you. I know that when I'm on a "healthy" kick that I will have healthy suppers planned and plenty of healthy choices for everyone to take with them for lunches. There will always be granola bars or fruit to grab for breakfast. But when it comes to that week where "healthy eating" exchanges places with "convenience" I know we are in for an off week. This week was just that. Prior to this week I was exercising and when this week arrived everything took a seat on the backburner. But with the weather as pretty as it is and the forecast for the weekend is just as pretty this will be a great chance to get back on track. Warmer days leave you with out excuse to get out and exercise. Children love to be outside and Madison loves to go for walks. And I think it will also be time to break out the bicycles.
This weekend will also be a good time to get back to planning my meals for the week. I always hear from others and I use to say it myself that eating healthy is so much more expensive than just buying those unhealthy foods. But I have learned that to not be the case. Since I started planning out my meals a week at a time,and I use a Weight Watcher's Cookbook, I have found that I am still able to remain in my budget for my groceries and actually illiminate those "convenience" runs through out the week at work. We spend more money on food when we are not eating healthy. When we have a meal plan for the week we avoid eating out because we are making last minute decisions for supper after being tired from work. Planning your supper after you get home from work is the worse time to do that. You will spend more money and have a higher chance of eating something that's not healthy. So eating healthy for us is not only good to our bodies but good to our wallets!
So once I'm getting back on track with eating healthy and exercising, I'm also hoping to fit in some time to clean my carpets. They are long overdue and I love a clean house on a bright sunny day!! Going to get some grilling time in...well, James is...haha. I love it when he grills corn on the cob!! Just looking forward to this weekend and having some much needed time with my daughter tonight. It's girl's night tonight!! Hope you guys get out and enjoy this sunshine!
The lifestyle you live does not only affect "you". It also affects those who spend alot of time with you. I know that when I'm on a "healthy" kick that I will have healthy suppers planned and plenty of healthy choices for everyone to take with them for lunches. There will always be granola bars or fruit to grab for breakfast. But when it comes to that week where "healthy eating" exchanges places with "convenience" I know we are in for an off week. This week was just that. Prior to this week I was exercising and when this week arrived everything took a seat on the backburner. But with the weather as pretty as it is and the forecast for the weekend is just as pretty this will be a great chance to get back on track. Warmer days leave you with out excuse to get out and exercise. Children love to be outside and Madison loves to go for walks. And I think it will also be time to break out the bicycles.
This weekend will also be a good time to get back to planning my meals for the week. I always hear from others and I use to say it myself that eating healthy is so much more expensive than just buying those unhealthy foods. But I have learned that to not be the case. Since I started planning out my meals a week at a time,and I use a Weight Watcher's Cookbook, I have found that I am still able to remain in my budget for my groceries and actually illiminate those "convenience" runs through out the week at work. We spend more money on food when we are not eating healthy. When we have a meal plan for the week we avoid eating out because we are making last minute decisions for supper after being tired from work. Planning your supper after you get home from work is the worse time to do that. You will spend more money and have a higher chance of eating something that's not healthy. So eating healthy for us is not only good to our bodies but good to our wallets!
So once I'm getting back on track with eating healthy and exercising, I'm also hoping to fit in some time to clean my carpets. They are long overdue and I love a clean house on a bright sunny day!! Going to get some grilling time in...well, James is...haha. I love it when he grills corn on the cob!! Just looking forward to this weekend and having some much needed time with my daughter tonight. It's girl's night tonight!! Hope you guys get out and enjoy this sunshine!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Encouragement
A day away from the office was quite nice today. I was still at work except I was at a training in Raleigh. Getting up at 5 a.m. was no fun but it was nice riding with a friend and chatting. It's also nice to see people at the training that you don't get to see everyday. And I was so encouraged to hear that people there were also reading my blogs! It's so encouraging to me so thankyou to the people today that told me they have been reading and enjoying them.
I know that I have learned alot just from my short time in blogging. You never realize the impact of your life on others until you start sharing it more. This blog has helped me to grow closer with God and to become comfortable with sharing my life with others. It makes me so excited when someone can read my blog and relate and maybe even be encouraged!! Life is so full of unexpected turns that you have to learn to keep pushing no matter what. And if sharing my turns in life is what someone else needs to keep going then keep reading!!
Sometimes we can get really tired as we go through life trying to do good and trying to live a life that's pleasing to Christ. Find encouragement in these two verses: Galatians 6:8-9 "The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." It's scriptures like these that encourage me to continue doing what God has called me to do despite what others around me are doing. And I want to make sure I make a lasting impression on people's lives in such a way that help them to be a better person. I have people in my life that have done that for me and I want to make sure I can do the same. There's always someone watching us and our actions and seeing if they match our words. And maybe you are someone that struggles with being the same person no matter who the people you are around. Be confident in who you are in Christ. Decide that it's Christ that makes you special and not the people you are trying to please. Once you get that down, you will lead a much happier life. I've been there and I know the happiness I have now.
I am really thankful for this day and getting to be with some people I do not see every day but I am especially looking forward to my head hitting the pillow and seeing the back of my eye lids!! Tomorrow will be another long day as I get up at 6 a.m. to take a 2 hour drive so it's off to bed early for me!!
I know that I have learned alot just from my short time in blogging. You never realize the impact of your life on others until you start sharing it more. This blog has helped me to grow closer with God and to become comfortable with sharing my life with others. It makes me so excited when someone can read my blog and relate and maybe even be encouraged!! Life is so full of unexpected turns that you have to learn to keep pushing no matter what. And if sharing my turns in life is what someone else needs to keep going then keep reading!!
Sometimes we can get really tired as we go through life trying to do good and trying to live a life that's pleasing to Christ. Find encouragement in these two verses: Galatians 6:8-9 "The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." It's scriptures like these that encourage me to continue doing what God has called me to do despite what others around me are doing. And I want to make sure I make a lasting impression on people's lives in such a way that help them to be a better person. I have people in my life that have done that for me and I want to make sure I can do the same. There's always someone watching us and our actions and seeing if they match our words. And maybe you are someone that struggles with being the same person no matter who the people you are around. Be confident in who you are in Christ. Decide that it's Christ that makes you special and not the people you are trying to please. Once you get that down, you will lead a much happier life. I've been there and I know the happiness I have now.
I am really thankful for this day and getting to be with some people I do not see every day but I am especially looking forward to my head hitting the pillow and seeing the back of my eye lids!! Tomorrow will be another long day as I get up at 6 a.m. to take a 2 hour drive so it's off to bed early for me!!
Monday, March 15, 2010
An Eventful Day
Well today was definetly a roller coaster ride. Started really well...till I got to work that is (isn't that how it always go..hee hee). I love the phone calls when a client calls to say what "really" happened and that he's not guilty...so that was my morning between him and all other parties involved. As my day continued, I had something unusual happen. Had a client come in that was asking to be readmitted to the program. Someone who had been clean from her addiction for an entire year but relapsed about 2 months ago. I find an enormous amount of strenth in a person that can walk back into my office after they are no longer obligated to by the courts and ask to be readmitted to the program. And this is unusual because all of the clients I see are on probation so they are either referred by the courts or their probation officer to see me. In other words, somewhere along the way the law caught up with them. So they typically are not thrilled to see me by the time they make it to my office.
I also had my second chiropractor appointment today. Actually found out what was going on by looking at the xrays I took last week. I find it very interesting to look at these things. Of course my xray did not match the "normal" one....does anything ever appear normal about me anyway?? But as we continued to discuss what was going on I learned that it's really no wonder I do not get migraines even more than I'm getting them. There were three things going on in my neck that all kind of linked together to triple the pain and cause the blurred vision. I'm not sure of all the technical jargan but I did learn that the three components could actually be fixed. Which was music to these ears! I have had a hard time with my migraines and I finally decided to go to the chiropractor when I started having them more frequently. My migraines always start out with my left eye going completely blurred and this happens alot when I'm driving. Which is the most inconvenient time. Then after that it's a quite painful day so I've got alot of hope that this chiropractor will do the trick. I did find it quite relaxing at some points to go to the chiropractor. At one point all I had to do was lay down and they put a cool pack around my neck with something else (seriously I really don't know my technical things here) to relax my muscles. I found myself having a hard time trying to relax. It's like I wanted to get up and get things done. I mean have I really become so busy that I can't even slow down and do absolutely nothing for literally 5 minutes. So I will find these appointments enjoyable (most days) because they will force me to take care of myself.
This evening I learned that a friend/coworker was experiencing symptoms of a heart attack and was actually having a heart attack by the time they made it to the hospital. She were air lifted to the Heart Center at PCMH. James, Madison, and I went over to be with the family and to visit with her once the testing was done. And though this event was upsetting, I knew that God was in control of it all. Sometimes it's a shocker to hear such news but I knew the faith my friend had and I understood that she would be ok. But after all the test were run and we were able to talk with her, we learned that it actually was not her heart afterall. Which was a good sign. But now they are trying to figure out where this pain and other symptoms are coming from. So I'm praising God that she did not have a heart attack but praying that God will also be with the doctors as they continue to run tests to try and locate the problem.
It's always moments like these that you really slow down to appreciate the people in your life. It's so important to have good family and friends whom you can trust no matter what the day. So I encourage you to appreciate the people in your life and look at all the blessings you have been given!!
I also had my second chiropractor appointment today. Actually found out what was going on by looking at the xrays I took last week. I find it very interesting to look at these things. Of course my xray did not match the "normal" one....does anything ever appear normal about me anyway?? But as we continued to discuss what was going on I learned that it's really no wonder I do not get migraines even more than I'm getting them. There were three things going on in my neck that all kind of linked together to triple the pain and cause the blurred vision. I'm not sure of all the technical jargan but I did learn that the three components could actually be fixed. Which was music to these ears! I have had a hard time with my migraines and I finally decided to go to the chiropractor when I started having them more frequently. My migraines always start out with my left eye going completely blurred and this happens alot when I'm driving. Which is the most inconvenient time. Then after that it's a quite painful day so I've got alot of hope that this chiropractor will do the trick. I did find it quite relaxing at some points to go to the chiropractor. At one point all I had to do was lay down and they put a cool pack around my neck with something else (seriously I really don't know my technical things here) to relax my muscles. I found myself having a hard time trying to relax. It's like I wanted to get up and get things done. I mean have I really become so busy that I can't even slow down and do absolutely nothing for literally 5 minutes. So I will find these appointments enjoyable (most days) because they will force me to take care of myself.
This evening I learned that a friend/coworker was experiencing symptoms of a heart attack and was actually having a heart attack by the time they made it to the hospital. She were air lifted to the Heart Center at PCMH. James, Madison, and I went over to be with the family and to visit with her once the testing was done. And though this event was upsetting, I knew that God was in control of it all. Sometimes it's a shocker to hear such news but I knew the faith my friend had and I understood that she would be ok. But after all the test were run and we were able to talk with her, we learned that it actually was not her heart afterall. Which was a good sign. But now they are trying to figure out where this pain and other symptoms are coming from. So I'm praising God that she did not have a heart attack but praying that God will also be with the doctors as they continue to run tests to try and locate the problem.
It's always moments like these that you really slow down to appreciate the people in your life. It's so important to have good family and friends whom you can trust no matter what the day. So I encourage you to appreciate the people in your life and look at all the blessings you have been given!!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
A Good Day
I had such a nice day with church family and some special friends that came over to hear James preach this morning. It's always so nice to hear that man preach. Ever since I heard him preach in college I knew God had gifted him. So thankful that God has blessed him with a heart to continue in the ministry. James cares for the teens that he works with and has a heart to help them grow strong spiritually to stand against temptations they will face and are facing.
James filled in for our minister today for the sermon. I really think James and Bob make such a good team. They are very opposite yet much alike and it's important to have that support and team work. James preached on the struggles that we all face and how we tend to want to hide those struggles and appear perfect. He encouraged us to seek counsel from God and from those around us. Giving your burdens over to God to carry and have friends that know what you are going through only makes your load that much lighter. To watch James preach, you can see the passion in him. God has gifted him with so much and I am so proud of him. He's been really busy this week between work and helping a few people do some things. Tonight James took the youth group to MACU for SNL. Hoping he doesn't get back to terribly late but also praying they have a safe trip. I remember going to functions at the college and I always found them so uplifting so these trips are important for the teens.
So I'm thankful for such a good Sunday and really some great time away from work. I have really enjoyed these past 4 days. It's been nice and I'm actually motivated to go back to work tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting things done in the office and getting back in the routine of things. Hoping for a great week and praying all of you have a great week as well. Now I'm gonna get back to watching Extreme Homemaker: Home Edition and crying my eyes out ;)
James filled in for our minister today for the sermon. I really think James and Bob make such a good team. They are very opposite yet much alike and it's important to have that support and team work. James preached on the struggles that we all face and how we tend to want to hide those struggles and appear perfect. He encouraged us to seek counsel from God and from those around us. Giving your burdens over to God to carry and have friends that know what you are going through only makes your load that much lighter. To watch James preach, you can see the passion in him. God has gifted him with so much and I am so proud of him. He's been really busy this week between work and helping a few people do some things. Tonight James took the youth group to MACU for SNL. Hoping he doesn't get back to terribly late but also praying they have a safe trip. I remember going to functions at the college and I always found them so uplifting so these trips are important for the teens.
So I'm thankful for such a good Sunday and really some great time away from work. I have really enjoyed these past 4 days. It's been nice and I'm actually motivated to go back to work tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting things done in the office and getting back in the routine of things. Hoping for a great week and praying all of you have a great week as well. Now I'm gonna get back to watching Extreme Homemaker: Home Edition and crying my eyes out ;)
Friday, March 12, 2010
A Sigh of Relief
I am typing this as my child is napping...yes I said it!! She decided to follow directions today!! Today has really been such a better day than yesterday so thankyou for the prayers!! It's so discouraging when you feel like you do a great job as a mom but then have a day where nothing seems to work. But of course, I have to be rational and realize that I can't be the one with the child that behaves ALL the time. Now what kind of challenge would that be for me?!
But seriously we are having a great day today. Woke up like I always do...whether I'm working or staying home. These days there is this internal clock that wakes me up whether or not I need to get up that early. Then of course I always have the wonderful "Madison" clock that works if my internal one fails. I woke up with energy and motivation today so I thought I better jump on it! Got my kitchen cleaned this morning and made breakfast. Madison was ready to make her cupcakes first thing this morning because I had shared with her yesterday that we were going to do so today. She always does such a great job when it comes to helping me clean or cook. Let's hope she takes after her dad though when it comes to the cooking skills. I am most definetly lacking in that area. Now I can follow a simple recipe but let's just say I'm not the type that can just throw some ingredients together and have something edible come out of it. Gotta have STEP BY STEP instructions for me.
Madison did really well today playing and having some "alone" time while I cleaned the rest of the house. That's one of the things I do love about having a day off is I am able to have the house cleaned so I can enjoy my Saturday! Madison and I even got in some book time. Now that's one of the many things that makes me so proud of Madison. The girl loves books!! She loves to find letters that she knows and make their sounds. Can't help but smile when I see her doing that. She gets to add about 2-3 books to her collection each month. And it has really paid off for us. Her enthusiasm when reading books is priceless. One of the most rewarding things we do with Madison is having that story time. I especially love it when she says "Mommy, I want to read to you". Now that will melt my heart ;) Madison even remembered reading a Dora the Explorer story where Dora was at the dentist. Madison was at the doctor when she remembered it and Madison knew exactly what to do! Madison was so proud of herself after she left the doctor that day.
If you read last night's blog you can tell I am in a bit of a different mood. A bit more light hearted. I was a little frazzled yesterday but that's ok. I almost thought that I shouldn't blog in such a mood but then I thought about that. I started the blog to share my thoughts and to be real. If I had not have posted last night I think I would have felt as if I cheated my purpose. Now I'm not one of these people that have no filter when it comes to blogging or posting things on facebook. There are just some things that do not need to be made public but something as simple as parenting issues should be shared. I know that I am not the only one that struggles with these issues so I write in hopes that it may help others to take a step back and say...ok, she is having those problems too. Sounds weird but sometimes encouragement comes in the form of just knowing you are not the only one struggling with that problem.
I'm very thankful that I decided to take these two days off. Normally I keep right on working cause Madison has me out enough with sick time anyway. But having days off that are planned always feel so much better. When you have a sick child it's difficult to do things around the house or take care of errands. But when you are home because you simply need a break it's a wonderful feeling!! Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoy it because we all know Monday will be here faster than we want it!
But seriously we are having a great day today. Woke up like I always do...whether I'm working or staying home. These days there is this internal clock that wakes me up whether or not I need to get up that early. Then of course I always have the wonderful "Madison" clock that works if my internal one fails. I woke up with energy and motivation today so I thought I better jump on it! Got my kitchen cleaned this morning and made breakfast. Madison was ready to make her cupcakes first thing this morning because I had shared with her yesterday that we were going to do so today. She always does such a great job when it comes to helping me clean or cook. Let's hope she takes after her dad though when it comes to the cooking skills. I am most definetly lacking in that area. Now I can follow a simple recipe but let's just say I'm not the type that can just throw some ingredients together and have something edible come out of it. Gotta have STEP BY STEP instructions for me.
Madison did really well today playing and having some "alone" time while I cleaned the rest of the house. That's one of the things I do love about having a day off is I am able to have the house cleaned so I can enjoy my Saturday! Madison and I even got in some book time. Now that's one of the many things that makes me so proud of Madison. The girl loves books!! She loves to find letters that she knows and make their sounds. Can't help but smile when I see her doing that. She gets to add about 2-3 books to her collection each month. And it has really paid off for us. Her enthusiasm when reading books is priceless. One of the most rewarding things we do with Madison is having that story time. I especially love it when she says "Mommy, I want to read to you". Now that will melt my heart ;) Madison even remembered reading a Dora the Explorer story where Dora was at the dentist. Madison was at the doctor when she remembered it and Madison knew exactly what to do! Madison was so proud of herself after she left the doctor that day.
If you read last night's blog you can tell I am in a bit of a different mood. A bit more light hearted. I was a little frazzled yesterday but that's ok. I almost thought that I shouldn't blog in such a mood but then I thought about that. I started the blog to share my thoughts and to be real. If I had not have posted last night I think I would have felt as if I cheated my purpose. Now I'm not one of these people that have no filter when it comes to blogging or posting things on facebook. There are just some things that do not need to be made public but something as simple as parenting issues should be shared. I know that I am not the only one that struggles with these issues so I write in hopes that it may help others to take a step back and say...ok, she is having those problems too. Sounds weird but sometimes encouragement comes in the form of just knowing you are not the only one struggling with that problem.
I'm very thankful that I decided to take these two days off. Normally I keep right on working cause Madison has me out enough with sick time anyway. But having days off that are planned always feel so much better. When you have a sick child it's difficult to do things around the house or take care of errands. But when you are home because you simply need a break it's a wonderful feeling!! Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoy it because we all know Monday will be here faster than we want it!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Laughing At Myself
If we lived in a world that required no money I would be a stay at home mom. And even after today, yes, I would still want to stay home. But I really find myself laughing at the adventures of today. I decided to take today and tomorrow off from work. I have noticed Madison needing some extra time with us so I decided it was more important to ensure that she had that time with us than to stick to the normal schedule of work and then home. Today was not the ideal stay at home day though. Normally when I'm home with Madison it's a fairly good day but something happened right about 3:30....shortly after the nap that did not happen.
Now we all have our ideas of how it would be like to stay home with our children and then there is reality of course. I have always had high respect for mothers who stay at home. I wish there were more that did. I have had the desire to be a stay at home mom for a while now but I caught myself laughing today when I thought about that. Right after Madison decided that she was not going to take a nap the girl went off the hook!! It was kind of funny yet not at all at the same time. Even though she layed down like I asked her too she did not fall asleep. And if anyone knows how to actually make your child fall asleep please share but otherwise, she did atleast lay down. But once I let her get up it was crazy from there. You would think that someone who normally gets a nap would have less energy when they go with out one. But that's not the case with my child, atleast, not as she gets older. Madison decided this evening that it would be fun to chase mommy around the house. Now of course that wasn't my idea of a fun time but I went with it. Thought maybe it would wear her out even more for bed time. Nope...she just kept going. Running, playing in her room, playing with her princess castle in the living room, playing ball...shall I go on? And to make this evening even funnier (ok so now it's not funny any more...) she's decided that she is not going to sleep tonight. This is the second night in the row the child has done this. Madison typically does very well with bed time but it's been a battle the past two nights. So apparently I am now struggling with bed time with my 3 year old...that makes no sense for a 30 year old to struggle with a 3 year old by the way. Something else I am struggling with is knowing as a mom how to handle your child in public. If she doesn't do what I say when we're outside of the home I have to have the strength to discipline her no matter where we are at. That's not always easy. Sometimes we just want a nice dinner but with a three year old you never know what you're going to get.
So with the stay at home thing verses working...I know what's on my mind when I'm at work...you know, "man I wish I was at home" but don't get me wrong. I am so looking forward to being home with Madison for the rest of the weekend cause she is my joy!! But I'm going to be brutally honest. Working a job that requires 40 hours of my time is much easier than being a stay at home mom 24/7. Being a stay at home mom never stops! It's a 24 hour a day job. I get to go to work Monday thru Friday and then come home to spend the evening with Madison. Though I am still a mom no matter where I am, and I still check up on my child through out the day, I have someone else watching her. When I go to work I am in my own office. I meet with client's who I schedule to meet with me. I have a schedule that typically is pretty routine. You can have a schedule with a child but there are going to be plenty of days where that schedule is not carried out.
Now don't go hating me cause I'm being honest about being a mom. Being a mom is absolutely one of the best things I have done. I love it and I love my child but there are moments we have to all be honest. I have a lot of fun with her but let's just say I was thankful today to have a job outside of the home!! And I praised God for that thought actually because as a working mom I want to be content with working. I don't want to find myself at work completely hating being there and just wishing I was at home...if that were the case I would be miserable. So I am thankful that I have a job that is very important. I am thankful that when I am at home I have an amazing family to be with then when I'm at work I have people that truly need me to be there. I'm sure every working mother understands exactly what I'm saying...or maybe I'm the only one. But being a mom is not suppose to be easy. No mother is better just because they stay home with their child or because they work outside of the home. It's what you are doing with your child when you are with them. Making sure you are giving them the attention they need and that they know you love them. Having the respect from you child to follow directions when you give them. That can be a hard one. But all of us parents are on a constant learning phase. Even those with older children who have grown and moved away. We are constantly learning as parents. I just pray that God helps me out with this bed time routine a little sooner than later ;) Bedtime has normally been a simple thing but as Madison gets a little older I'm noticing bedtime to be somewhat difficult...pray for me!!!
Now we all have our ideas of how it would be like to stay home with our children and then there is reality of course. I have always had high respect for mothers who stay at home. I wish there were more that did. I have had the desire to be a stay at home mom for a while now but I caught myself laughing today when I thought about that. Right after Madison decided that she was not going to take a nap the girl went off the hook!! It was kind of funny yet not at all at the same time. Even though she layed down like I asked her too she did not fall asleep. And if anyone knows how to actually make your child fall asleep please share but otherwise, she did atleast lay down. But once I let her get up it was crazy from there. You would think that someone who normally gets a nap would have less energy when they go with out one. But that's not the case with my child, atleast, not as she gets older. Madison decided this evening that it would be fun to chase mommy around the house. Now of course that wasn't my idea of a fun time but I went with it. Thought maybe it would wear her out even more for bed time. Nope...she just kept going. Running, playing in her room, playing with her princess castle in the living room, playing ball...shall I go on? And to make this evening even funnier (ok so now it's not funny any more...) she's decided that she is not going to sleep tonight. This is the second night in the row the child has done this. Madison typically does very well with bed time but it's been a battle the past two nights. So apparently I am now struggling with bed time with my 3 year old...that makes no sense for a 30 year old to struggle with a 3 year old by the way. Something else I am struggling with is knowing as a mom how to handle your child in public. If she doesn't do what I say when we're outside of the home I have to have the strength to discipline her no matter where we are at. That's not always easy. Sometimes we just want a nice dinner but with a three year old you never know what you're going to get.
So with the stay at home thing verses working...I know what's on my mind when I'm at work...you know, "man I wish I was at home" but don't get me wrong. I am so looking forward to being home with Madison for the rest of the weekend cause she is my joy!! But I'm going to be brutally honest. Working a job that requires 40 hours of my time is much easier than being a stay at home mom 24/7. Being a stay at home mom never stops! It's a 24 hour a day job. I get to go to work Monday thru Friday and then come home to spend the evening with Madison. Though I am still a mom no matter where I am, and I still check up on my child through out the day, I have someone else watching her. When I go to work I am in my own office. I meet with client's who I schedule to meet with me. I have a schedule that typically is pretty routine. You can have a schedule with a child but there are going to be plenty of days where that schedule is not carried out.
Now don't go hating me cause I'm being honest about being a mom. Being a mom is absolutely one of the best things I have done. I love it and I love my child but there are moments we have to all be honest. I have a lot of fun with her but let's just say I was thankful today to have a job outside of the home!! And I praised God for that thought actually because as a working mom I want to be content with working. I don't want to find myself at work completely hating being there and just wishing I was at home...if that were the case I would be miserable. So I am thankful that I have a job that is very important. I am thankful that when I am at home I have an amazing family to be with then when I'm at work I have people that truly need me to be there. I'm sure every working mother understands exactly what I'm saying...or maybe I'm the only one. But being a mom is not suppose to be easy. No mother is better just because they stay home with their child or because they work outside of the home. It's what you are doing with your child when you are with them. Making sure you are giving them the attention they need and that they know you love them. Having the respect from you child to follow directions when you give them. That can be a hard one. But all of us parents are on a constant learning phase. Even those with older children who have grown and moved away. We are constantly learning as parents. I just pray that God helps me out with this bed time routine a little sooner than later ;) Bedtime has normally been a simple thing but as Madison gets a little older I'm noticing bedtime to be somewhat difficult...pray for me!!!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Being Real
So I've been thinking about what I was going to blog about tonight. Not sure why, but insecurities came to mind. I know alot of us struggle with insecurities in some form or fashion. I think we get really good at hiding them and covering them up with what appears to be confidence. But it can get really tough covering up and not letting out the true you.
I remember being so insecure in who I was. Just in my physical appearance and in my capabilities. I never really had been told that I could truly be what I wanted to be and that I was special. Insecurities can be Satan's way of holding us back. And sometimes those insecurities have more power over us than what we realize. I don't think I have ever been to the point I am now. I know now that I am special and that it's not what I can become but who I am now that makes me special. Knowing that God loves me right now and not for who I may become. And I really don't know the exact time period that I came to this realization. I know it's been about 1-2 years ago so fairly recent. For the longest time self esteem was a struggle for me. Being confident in who I was and not letting others affect my opinion of myself was very tough.
I remember being especially consumed by what other's thought of me as James began his first ministry as Senior Minister. Sometimes we let Satan plant things in our minds that never came from anyone but out own insecurities. If we allow him, Satan will tell you that you are worthless. That you are crazy for thinking that you could accomplish that one goal or that dream. And once we listen to him enough, we start believing that. Becoming a minister's wife was not easy for me. I had such a wonderful role model growing up for a minister's wife. But as I transitioned into "the minister's wife" I found it quite nerve racking. All of a sudden I felt like I had to be perfect and that I had to become a leader. I have not always been the leader type but I find myself becoming that more and more as I grow in Christ. I remember being so consumed with what other's thought of me while James was in that ministry. And all of those thoughts were irrational. I allowed Satan to use my insecurities and hold me back from accomplishing so many things for God. Now granted, I'm sure there were people that did not "like" me or did not find me the ideal minister's wife but I have quickly learned that it's not about pleasing everyone and making everyone like you. It's about being who you are no matter who you are around. James' first ministry was such a growing point for me and I was surrounded by wonderful people during that time. But as I grow and look back at the experiences we have gone through I see God working in me in ways I never thought possible.
God has taken those insecurities and absolutely thrown them away!! Of course I still have my moments, I mean who doesn't? We all have an area where we need to improve on. But I find that the closer I get to God and the deeper our relationship becomes, my insecurities get farther and farther away. All of those doubts that I once had, are faded memories. God has given me good people in my life. And that's part of the battle. You need people in your life that are encouraging to you. You have to make sure you are building your circle of support up of people that will build you up and give you that constructive critism when the time is right. You also have to realize that the people who bring you down constantly may not be the ones you need to spend all of your time listening too. Let's face it, we all tend to listen a little more to the negative but I encourage you to try focusing a little more on the positive. Just take a step back and look at who you are, insecurities and all. And know that it's okay for people to see that you are not perfect. It took me a long time to get to that point but who was I kidding? People already knew I was not perfect!! Please know that it takes more strength and more courage to let your insecurities through than it does to show your strengths. Our world views showing your insecurities and failures as weakness. But it's not until you can face those insecurities that you will truly become strong. God needs you to be you. The people around you need you to be you. I never realized how much I was carrying on my shoulders all those years I was trying to be someone I was not. But now that I am who I am and people accept me for that I am so much happier. So much happier than I was when I felt like I had to be perfect. Now I know and understand that I do not have to be perfect and that it's actually important for others to see that. People need to see that you do make mistakes but that you learn from them. So become who you are no matter who's watching. Don't get caught up in the idea that as a Christian you have to appear perfect. God takes you for who you are and don't forget that! Life is much better when that burden has been lifted. Trust me!
I remember being so insecure in who I was. Just in my physical appearance and in my capabilities. I never really had been told that I could truly be what I wanted to be and that I was special. Insecurities can be Satan's way of holding us back. And sometimes those insecurities have more power over us than what we realize. I don't think I have ever been to the point I am now. I know now that I am special and that it's not what I can become but who I am now that makes me special. Knowing that God loves me right now and not for who I may become. And I really don't know the exact time period that I came to this realization. I know it's been about 1-2 years ago so fairly recent. For the longest time self esteem was a struggle for me. Being confident in who I was and not letting others affect my opinion of myself was very tough.
I remember being especially consumed by what other's thought of me as James began his first ministry as Senior Minister. Sometimes we let Satan plant things in our minds that never came from anyone but out own insecurities. If we allow him, Satan will tell you that you are worthless. That you are crazy for thinking that you could accomplish that one goal or that dream. And once we listen to him enough, we start believing that. Becoming a minister's wife was not easy for me. I had such a wonderful role model growing up for a minister's wife. But as I transitioned into "the minister's wife" I found it quite nerve racking. All of a sudden I felt like I had to be perfect and that I had to become a leader. I have not always been the leader type but I find myself becoming that more and more as I grow in Christ. I remember being so consumed with what other's thought of me while James was in that ministry. And all of those thoughts were irrational. I allowed Satan to use my insecurities and hold me back from accomplishing so many things for God. Now granted, I'm sure there were people that did not "like" me or did not find me the ideal minister's wife but I have quickly learned that it's not about pleasing everyone and making everyone like you. It's about being who you are no matter who you are around. James' first ministry was such a growing point for me and I was surrounded by wonderful people during that time. But as I grow and look back at the experiences we have gone through I see God working in me in ways I never thought possible.
God has taken those insecurities and absolutely thrown them away!! Of course I still have my moments, I mean who doesn't? We all have an area where we need to improve on. But I find that the closer I get to God and the deeper our relationship becomes, my insecurities get farther and farther away. All of those doubts that I once had, are faded memories. God has given me good people in my life. And that's part of the battle. You need people in your life that are encouraging to you. You have to make sure you are building your circle of support up of people that will build you up and give you that constructive critism when the time is right. You also have to realize that the people who bring you down constantly may not be the ones you need to spend all of your time listening too. Let's face it, we all tend to listen a little more to the negative but I encourage you to try focusing a little more on the positive. Just take a step back and look at who you are, insecurities and all. And know that it's okay for people to see that you are not perfect. It took me a long time to get to that point but who was I kidding? People already knew I was not perfect!! Please know that it takes more strength and more courage to let your insecurities through than it does to show your strengths. Our world views showing your insecurities and failures as weakness. But it's not until you can face those insecurities that you will truly become strong. God needs you to be you. The people around you need you to be you. I never realized how much I was carrying on my shoulders all those years I was trying to be someone I was not. But now that I am who I am and people accept me for that I am so much happier. So much happier than I was when I felt like I had to be perfect. Now I know and understand that I do not have to be perfect and that it's actually important for others to see that. People need to see that you do make mistakes but that you learn from them. So become who you are no matter who's watching. Don't get caught up in the idea that as a Christian you have to appear perfect. God takes you for who you are and don't forget that! Life is much better when that burden has been lifted. Trust me!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Not For Those With Weak Stomachs...
I am very thankful for this day. My morning started off really well with a work out and getting to work on time despite the long drive ahead of me. Met with some clients who were doing well and were excited about their clean time from illegal drugs and alcohol but also met with some who were anything but there. Overall it was a good work day.
My drive home was fabulous with all this sunshine!! Makes for the long trips to be much more pleasant. When I got home James had steaks grilling and a surprise for me on the kitchen table. He's so good to me. He doesn't over do it with the surprises which is good or else I'd expect it. But every so often out of the blue, for no reason, he'll have something for me. And it's normally waiting for me on the kitchen table. It was a Bath and Body Works bag with the spring collection scent called P.S. I Love You. Of course he got me the whole set :) I love that man. He has always known how to treat me. I remember when we first started dating in college how he would open the door for me and bring me flowers, a complete gentleman. I remember thinking..."let's see how long this lasts". And even after we continued dating, I would bring it up occasionally how long he thought he could keep up with the standard he was setting. Of course, he always said he would do it forever...and he has thus far. Sorry for you guys that are puking right now ;) But I don't know how God chose to bless me with such a good marriage.
I hope that Madison can look at us and know the standard she should set for her marriage. I pray she can look at her daddy and see the kind of man she deserves and know how a man should treat her. And I hope that I can show her how to treat her husband. Things are not always perfect, but then again this is a marriage. It's how we work through the trials that make our marriage that much better. Knowing that I can always depend on James to be there no matter what makes me secure in our marriage. Of course we all have those jokes where we say "will you love me if..." and that's always interesting. Well James finds it interesting to bring up my C-section with Madison. Giving birth is always an interesting topic but he found it quite interesting when he got to watch the C-section. I guess guys are like that but James thought it was the coolest thing to see inside of me!! Gross!! He talks about seeing the doctors just move my insides around like it was nothing!! Oh, and sorry to gross you guys out...I'm pretty grossed out myself.
But away from the gross stuff and back to the serious stuff. I know alot of marriages are not on the same track as mine. I've listened to people talk to me about troubles they were having and it makes me sad. I know my marriage would not be anything it is today if God was not at the center. I say that all the time but I truly mean it. I know that our marriage is what it is because we both work towards the same goal and that's to always serve God with our lives. So if you've made it this far in my blog I will assume you have a pretty strong stomach between reading the yucky gushy love stuff and the gross c-section stuff I'd say you're tough ;) Hope I haven't turned you off from reading my blogs!! :)
My drive home was fabulous with all this sunshine!! Makes for the long trips to be much more pleasant. When I got home James had steaks grilling and a surprise for me on the kitchen table. He's so good to me. He doesn't over do it with the surprises which is good or else I'd expect it. But every so often out of the blue, for no reason, he'll have something for me. And it's normally waiting for me on the kitchen table. It was a Bath and Body Works bag with the spring collection scent called P.S. I Love You. Of course he got me the whole set :) I love that man. He has always known how to treat me. I remember when we first started dating in college how he would open the door for me and bring me flowers, a complete gentleman. I remember thinking..."let's see how long this lasts". And even after we continued dating, I would bring it up occasionally how long he thought he could keep up with the standard he was setting. Of course, he always said he would do it forever...and he has thus far. Sorry for you guys that are puking right now ;) But I don't know how God chose to bless me with such a good marriage.
I hope that Madison can look at us and know the standard she should set for her marriage. I pray she can look at her daddy and see the kind of man she deserves and know how a man should treat her. And I hope that I can show her how to treat her husband. Things are not always perfect, but then again this is a marriage. It's how we work through the trials that make our marriage that much better. Knowing that I can always depend on James to be there no matter what makes me secure in our marriage. Of course we all have those jokes where we say "will you love me if..." and that's always interesting. Well James finds it interesting to bring up my C-section with Madison. Giving birth is always an interesting topic but he found it quite interesting when he got to watch the C-section. I guess guys are like that but James thought it was the coolest thing to see inside of me!! Gross!! He talks about seeing the doctors just move my insides around like it was nothing!! Oh, and sorry to gross you guys out...I'm pretty grossed out myself.
But away from the gross stuff and back to the serious stuff. I know alot of marriages are not on the same track as mine. I've listened to people talk to me about troubles they were having and it makes me sad. I know my marriage would not be anything it is today if God was not at the center. I say that all the time but I truly mean it. I know that our marriage is what it is because we both work towards the same goal and that's to always serve God with our lives. So if you've made it this far in my blog I will assume you have a pretty strong stomach between reading the yucky gushy love stuff and the gross c-section stuff I'd say you're tough ;) Hope I haven't turned you off from reading my blogs!! :)
Friday, March 5, 2010
My Friday Night Randomness
I have had such an awesome evening! Once I made it through the work day it was time to start my weekend!! I started it with a quick stop at Belk's where I found a pair of $60 heels that were on clearance and then got an extra 20% off for a grand total of $10!! Granted I can't wear them just yet because they are open toe shoes, but I'll have them just in time when the weather warms up!! After my breif shopping trip, I went to get my hair done and that was nice because I saw a friend I hadn't seen in years and I also got to hang out with quite possibly the best hair stylist ever!!
Driving home after all this I realized it has been forever since I took an evening for myself to get some things done. It was so nice shopping and buying something for myself and then pampering myself with a hair appointment. It's so important to slow down and remember to take care of yourself!! And with that said, I am officially beginning a series of chiropractor appointments that I have been putting off. Even with insurance, the copays are pricey, especially when you start out going three times a week. But after my migraine I had yesterday, I knew I couldn't wait any longer. So I'm praying that maybe the chiropractor will cut me some slack on how often I have to go or maybe even cut me a deal on the copay ;)
As you continue to read this blog you will realize how random my flow of thoughts are!! I just have so much on my mind tonight and if you're like me, that's pretty normal. I'm always working on one thing and then thinking about another!! But something I have wanted to say to everyone that reads my blog is thank you. Thank you so much for the encouragment you have been to me. I started this blog hoping to have readers who found my thoughts encouraging or maybe were able to relate with what I was talking about. I have gotten so many emails from different people who I never thought would even read my blog!! So thank you so much for taking the time to read and to give such encouraging words. Just knowing that I can use my life and my story and all my crazy thoughts to be a blessing to you is absolutely amazing!!
I also have on my mind my husband's grandmother Jan. She had surgery yesterday to have a bigger trake put in. The surgery was necessary but as with any surgery there were risks. James said tonight that there is a chance his grandmother may not be able to talk again and may have to always have a feeding tube. So while I'm so very thankful for God taking care of her and allowing someone to find her that day she collapsed, I'm torn with the thought that my husband may not be able to hear his grandmother's voice again. She lives in Ohio and we live in North Carolina, so phone calls are so very important. She is by far one of the coolest grandmothers ever. She calls James to talk about football and believe me, she knows her stuff!! But I just ask that you pray for her and the doctors as they continue this journey. I know that God has her in His hands and is taking care of her every step of the way.
Another thought is my weekend. I have been so busy that I have not slowed down to really clean my house this week. We have managed to maintain but you know how your house just gets to a point where it's time to do a good thorough cleaning!! Well ours is there!! This weekend is spring cleaning at this household!! Even Madison will have a part. She does such a good job with helping with laundry and picking up things. Of course, we normally have to sing the clean up song! And something else I'm hoping to do is revamp my grocery list. I have not done a very good job of utilizing the coupons that I have. Something that I want to do is start writing out a grocery list that allows me to buy things when they are on sell, instead of when I need them. I want to get better at utilizing my coupons and being smart about when the best time is to buy certain things. I want to be more responsible with planning out our meals a week at a time to ensure that what I'm cooking for my family is not only cost effective but healthy. I've always allowed my busy life to dictate what we eat and that's not working for us in either the department of health or money!!
So there you have it, my random thoughts for this Friday night. I'm so blessed to have the friends that I have. So incredibly blessed with the church family we are a part of now. They have truly been part of a healing process for us. I'm also blessed to have the family that I have. I have such an awesome husband and I am so thankful that God has blessed us with a marriage that works towards God. I don't know where we would be today if God was not at the center. So thankyou God for blessing me beyond measure and allowing me to be a part of so many special people's lives.
Driving home after all this I realized it has been forever since I took an evening for myself to get some things done. It was so nice shopping and buying something for myself and then pampering myself with a hair appointment. It's so important to slow down and remember to take care of yourself!! And with that said, I am officially beginning a series of chiropractor appointments that I have been putting off. Even with insurance, the copays are pricey, especially when you start out going three times a week. But after my migraine I had yesterday, I knew I couldn't wait any longer. So I'm praying that maybe the chiropractor will cut me some slack on how often I have to go or maybe even cut me a deal on the copay ;)
As you continue to read this blog you will realize how random my flow of thoughts are!! I just have so much on my mind tonight and if you're like me, that's pretty normal. I'm always working on one thing and then thinking about another!! But something I have wanted to say to everyone that reads my blog is thank you. Thank you so much for the encouragment you have been to me. I started this blog hoping to have readers who found my thoughts encouraging or maybe were able to relate with what I was talking about. I have gotten so many emails from different people who I never thought would even read my blog!! So thank you so much for taking the time to read and to give such encouraging words. Just knowing that I can use my life and my story and all my crazy thoughts to be a blessing to you is absolutely amazing!!
I also have on my mind my husband's grandmother Jan. She had surgery yesterday to have a bigger trake put in. The surgery was necessary but as with any surgery there were risks. James said tonight that there is a chance his grandmother may not be able to talk again and may have to always have a feeding tube. So while I'm so very thankful for God taking care of her and allowing someone to find her that day she collapsed, I'm torn with the thought that my husband may not be able to hear his grandmother's voice again. She lives in Ohio and we live in North Carolina, so phone calls are so very important. She is by far one of the coolest grandmothers ever. She calls James to talk about football and believe me, she knows her stuff!! But I just ask that you pray for her and the doctors as they continue this journey. I know that God has her in His hands and is taking care of her every step of the way.
Another thought is my weekend. I have been so busy that I have not slowed down to really clean my house this week. We have managed to maintain but you know how your house just gets to a point where it's time to do a good thorough cleaning!! Well ours is there!! This weekend is spring cleaning at this household!! Even Madison will have a part. She does such a good job with helping with laundry and picking up things. Of course, we normally have to sing the clean up song! And something else I'm hoping to do is revamp my grocery list. I have not done a very good job of utilizing the coupons that I have. Something that I want to do is start writing out a grocery list that allows me to buy things when they are on sell, instead of when I need them. I want to get better at utilizing my coupons and being smart about when the best time is to buy certain things. I want to be more responsible with planning out our meals a week at a time to ensure that what I'm cooking for my family is not only cost effective but healthy. I've always allowed my busy life to dictate what we eat and that's not working for us in either the department of health or money!!
So there you have it, my random thoughts for this Friday night. I'm so blessed to have the friends that I have. So incredibly blessed with the church family we are a part of now. They have truly been part of a healing process for us. I'm also blessed to have the family that I have. I have such an awesome husband and I am so thankful that God has blessed us with a marriage that works towards God. I don't know where we would be today if God was not at the center. So thankyou God for blessing me beyond measure and allowing me to be a part of so many special people's lives.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Living On Faith
Yesterday I blogged about my thoughts on faith and how extreme one could take it. Living a life of faith can be so very exciting and scary all at the same time!! But how else do we grow? How do we take steps forward? If we never take a chance then how do we know that we are truly living the life God has for us?
The Message version of Luke 17:5-6 says this about faith: "The apostles came up and said to the Master, 'Give us more faith.' But the Master said, 'You don't need more faith. There is no 'more' or 'less' in faith. If you have a bare kernel of faith, say the size of a poppy seed, you could say to this sycamore tree, 'Go jump in the lake,' and it would do it." I love how scripture has a way of putting things in perspective. This verse reminds me that I don't have to compare my faith or have a certain level of faith. If I even have just a small amount of faith then God can move in my life!! That's so exciting and so reassuring to me!! And to my friends out there who feel like they are just not quite there and have always compared themselves to other Christians who they feel have more faith...listen up!! Scripture says it's not a matter of more or less faith!! So stop making excuses as to why you can't take that leap of faith yet and just do it!!
I have been amazed at God's fulfillment of His word to me. I continue to pray for things that otherwise would be impossible and as I do...they slowly become possible. As I see these things happen, my faith grows. Which helps me to understand that even starting with the smallest amount of faith can lead to a life of such joy in Christ!! I am thankful for the scriptures that are a road map for me. I use to have such a hard time reading and understanding them but as I continue to take steps of faith, God continues to increase my understanding of His word.
God has been nothing but faithful to me and my family. We continue to experience an abundance of blessings as we seek Him. When things get tough in your life or you just don't understand the life you are living, seek God with all your heart. Read the scriptures and it's there where you will find your answers. Trust God with your life and you will be blessed.
The Message version of Luke 17:5-6 says this about faith: "The apostles came up and said to the Master, 'Give us more faith.' But the Master said, 'You don't need more faith. There is no 'more' or 'less' in faith. If you have a bare kernel of faith, say the size of a poppy seed, you could say to this sycamore tree, 'Go jump in the lake,' and it would do it." I love how scripture has a way of putting things in perspective. This verse reminds me that I don't have to compare my faith or have a certain level of faith. If I even have just a small amount of faith then God can move in my life!! That's so exciting and so reassuring to me!! And to my friends out there who feel like they are just not quite there and have always compared themselves to other Christians who they feel have more faith...listen up!! Scripture says it's not a matter of more or less faith!! So stop making excuses as to why you can't take that leap of faith yet and just do it!!
I have been amazed at God's fulfillment of His word to me. I continue to pray for things that otherwise would be impossible and as I do...they slowly become possible. As I see these things happen, my faith grows. Which helps me to understand that even starting with the smallest amount of faith can lead to a life of such joy in Christ!! I am thankful for the scriptures that are a road map for me. I use to have such a hard time reading and understanding them but as I continue to take steps of faith, God continues to increase my understanding of His word.
God has been nothing but faithful to me and my family. We continue to experience an abundance of blessings as we seek Him. When things get tough in your life or you just don't understand the life you are living, seek God with all your heart. Read the scriptures and it's there where you will find your answers. Trust God with your life and you will be blessed.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Faith or Stupidity?
Have you ever been at a point where one decision could change absolutely everything. I feel like I'm at that point. It's almost like it's a huge leap of faith or it's just plain crazy!! But as I remind myself of what faith is, it's believing in what you can't see. So at what point does it exceed a step of faith and just become plain stupid?!! I'm asking myself that question tonight.
God has never agreed to go by everything in my plan of action for my life. I've never really "enjoyed" the trials and redirections that I've experienced in growing in my walk with God, but I found them necessary and have grown to appreciate them later. There are times in life when you almost take a halt and realize that God has been trying to say "ok" all along. As if to say, "ok I'll give you the desire of your heart". But by the time we realize it, we're completely in aww and wondering if we've gone crazy!!! I know i'm not making sense but it's just something I've had to get out there. At what point does someone say they are acting out on faith when reality it was not faith but stupidity. I hope this does not come across as being harsh because it's not at all my intention but rather it's what's on my mind. I have taken some leaps of faith in my life but sometimes I think we get too content and almost forget to continue taking steps of faith. I find myself very comfortable in my life, almost too comfortable. And maybe that's why I'm struggling with this question tonight of faith and how extreme do you take it.
So I'm spending alot of time in prayer about some things. There are just so many things on my mind and so many exciting venues that God may or may not lead me down. I do not understand how anyone can say being a Christian is boring. My life is anything but!!!! But as I continue to search for answers and pray for God's direction in my life, I know that no matter what it will be a journey to never forget!! I know this has been by the far the most confusing blog ever but I had some things on my mind and got thinking about faith. And I guess when it comes down to steps of faith, you are truly the only one who knows your heart (besides God that is) and so searching for direction and taking leaps of faith can only be decided by you if it was truly a leap of faith or if you were just plain crazy...or maybe faith is crazy :) I guess that is what makes being a Christian so exciting!
God has never agreed to go by everything in my plan of action for my life. I've never really "enjoyed" the trials and redirections that I've experienced in growing in my walk with God, but I found them necessary and have grown to appreciate them later. There are times in life when you almost take a halt and realize that God has been trying to say "ok" all along. As if to say, "ok I'll give you the desire of your heart". But by the time we realize it, we're completely in aww and wondering if we've gone crazy!!! I know i'm not making sense but it's just something I've had to get out there. At what point does someone say they are acting out on faith when reality it was not faith but stupidity. I hope this does not come across as being harsh because it's not at all my intention but rather it's what's on my mind. I have taken some leaps of faith in my life but sometimes I think we get too content and almost forget to continue taking steps of faith. I find myself very comfortable in my life, almost too comfortable. And maybe that's why I'm struggling with this question tonight of faith and how extreme do you take it.
So I'm spending alot of time in prayer about some things. There are just so many things on my mind and so many exciting venues that God may or may not lead me down. I do not understand how anyone can say being a Christian is boring. My life is anything but!!!! But as I continue to search for answers and pray for God's direction in my life, I know that no matter what it will be a journey to never forget!! I know this has been by the far the most confusing blog ever but I had some things on my mind and got thinking about faith. And I guess when it comes down to steps of faith, you are truly the only one who knows your heart (besides God that is) and so searching for direction and taking leaps of faith can only be decided by you if it was truly a leap of faith or if you were just plain crazy...or maybe faith is crazy :) I guess that is what makes being a Christian so exciting!
A Racing Mind...
I woke up to a very unusual morning. I actually rolled out of bed at 5:15 which normally I'm up around 6:00 or just after. I got in a morning work out and even got to work before 8! Another unusual thing was there was snow on the ground when I left for work!! What a nice morning. Nothing like those days when everything seems to flow just like you had hoped!
But one thing that has not been going so good is Madison's childcare. It seems here lately that Madison more and more does not like going to her babysitter. This concerns me. Madison use to really enjoy her time there and get excited. Now it's a tearful morning when we drop her off. So I'm struggling as we continue to drop her off there and look for an affordable childcare alternative. I've researched some area Day Care Centers and one in particular I am really hoping to get her into. And of course the one I love is the most expensive! If we change child care options, we will be looking at paying $140 more a month. But the positive to this is the day care center will provide the food. Right now we are sending her lunches. Also, we would not have to drive out of our way to get Madison there like we do right now. I just want to make sure that as a working mom that I provide the best alternative next to me for her to be with during the day. Her happiness and safety are so very important to me.
I do not feel like something serious is going on but I just feel that Madison may be at an age where having a babysitter just isn't enough. I want Madison in a day care center so that she can get that constant stimulation of activities and other children her age to play with. I think that is why Madison loves church so much. Some babysitters may also provide this but I do not feel like this is the case where she is at. So I'm praying that God will continue to open doors for us and lead us to the right place for her. It makes a parent very sad when they have to leave their child at a place they do not want to be.
Also another thing on our minds is James' grandmother's health. She's is now in the hospital and they are looking to do another surgery to help correct the trake problems that she is having. She has already had multiple surgeries with the trake and as with any surgery, there are risks. So I ask that you especially pray for her and the doctor's that will be working with her. She is such a strong woman and such a pillar of strength for that family. I know that God be with her each moment.
Swoo! Sounds like alot on my mind today!! Just life that's all. Also thinking about what I will cook for dinner tonight (while kicking myself for not already planning that) and also thinking about getting better at using more coupons!! And of course as soon as I finish my break I will be thinking about work!! Seeking God as we go through different things and praying that God will lead us every step of the way no matter what we encounter. Now off to get my mind off of these things...
But one thing that has not been going so good is Madison's childcare. It seems here lately that Madison more and more does not like going to her babysitter. This concerns me. Madison use to really enjoy her time there and get excited. Now it's a tearful morning when we drop her off. So I'm struggling as we continue to drop her off there and look for an affordable childcare alternative. I've researched some area Day Care Centers and one in particular I am really hoping to get her into. And of course the one I love is the most expensive! If we change child care options, we will be looking at paying $140 more a month. But the positive to this is the day care center will provide the food. Right now we are sending her lunches. Also, we would not have to drive out of our way to get Madison there like we do right now. I just want to make sure that as a working mom that I provide the best alternative next to me for her to be with during the day. Her happiness and safety are so very important to me.
I do not feel like something serious is going on but I just feel that Madison may be at an age where having a babysitter just isn't enough. I want Madison in a day care center so that she can get that constant stimulation of activities and other children her age to play with. I think that is why Madison loves church so much. Some babysitters may also provide this but I do not feel like this is the case where she is at. So I'm praying that God will continue to open doors for us and lead us to the right place for her. It makes a parent very sad when they have to leave their child at a place they do not want to be.
Also another thing on our minds is James' grandmother's health. She's is now in the hospital and they are looking to do another surgery to help correct the trake problems that she is having. She has already had multiple surgeries with the trake and as with any surgery, there are risks. So I ask that you especially pray for her and the doctor's that will be working with her. She is such a strong woman and such a pillar of strength for that family. I know that God be with her each moment.
Swoo! Sounds like alot on my mind today!! Just life that's all. Also thinking about what I will cook for dinner tonight (while kicking myself for not already planning that) and also thinking about getting better at using more coupons!! And of course as soon as I finish my break I will be thinking about work!! Seeking God as we go through different things and praying that God will lead us every step of the way no matter what we encounter. Now off to get my mind off of these things...
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