Living Someone Else's Life

It's Wednesday night and I am counting down the days to my weekend. I am not one to rush my life away but after just being so exhausted today, I am ready to make it to Friday! Lot's of driving ahead of me tomorrow to get to work but that's not always such a bad thing. I have had alot on my mind this evening and particularly with something personal. I have debated whether or not to share this on my blog but then again as I have stated before I decided I would share it as my blog's purpose is to be real with you.

I find that I struggle, even as a 30 year old, with always trying to please others. Sometimes I do so even at my own expense. Now some might wonder why that's such a bad thing. And if you are someone who does not struggle with this then let me explain. For some people pleasing others begins to consume them so much that they forget about themselves and living THEIR life instead of someone else's life. Thankfully I am not consumed to that point, however, I do let it affect my life to a certain degree. Praise God that I can say I am a pretty independent person that has made her own choices through out life as far as what college to attend, career choices, the man I marry, and how many children I will have, etc. despite opposition from others. But as I look deeper into things I accomplish on a daily basis I find that sometimes I can be completely knocked down when I realize someone isn't 100% pleased. I struggle with trying to keep everyone happy and as we all know, that's impossible. I have people in my life that I have found necessary to make sure that I keep happy and work my life around but as I get older and have amazing people that God has placed in my life I have learned that I can not live my life for someone else. My life is to be lived for Christ and everything else will fall into place.

I was reading this evening about a man that was so consumed with keeping others happy that through out his whole life he had chosen career paths, where to live, etc. all based on those around him and what they wanted. I am thankful that I have not taken it to that extreme but I do see the little things that affect my daily walk with God. I need to reevaluate my purpose for living and who it is that I should solely focus on in pleasing. I know that when I start worrying about keeping other's happy and what they are thinking then I have taken my focus off of Christ and redirected to someone on this earth. I want to thirst for Christ and be so focused on him that I lose sight of the unimportant things and worries that this world brings. I love Psalm 42:1 & 2 "As the deer pants for the streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" I desire for my thirst for Christ to be over powering! I know that when my focus has reached that level that the people I was so concerned with pleasing will either understand because they truly care about me and the way I live my life or will not understand, and that will only be confirmation for me in knowing I was spending too much time in keeping them happy. So I pray that as I continue to live a life pleasing to God that I will bathe my decisions in prayer and continue with the life God has intended for me.