The Good Life

I live for evenings like this one. Yard work and grilling out!! Here are a few pics of Madison while we were outside this evening. She's such a blessing to James and I!! And she did a great job helping with yard work. She thought it was alot of fun pulling her wagon around while we picked up any sticks that were in the yard. Of course, we had to play a little hide and seek behind the trees too! I am so thankful for this little girl and will continue to pray that I will be the mother this girl deserves. Thank you God for blessing my life with this beautiful and smart little girl! I do not deserve all of these blessings that are constantly being poured out on me.

Living Someone Else's Life

It's Wednesday night and I am counting down the days to my weekend. I am not one to rush my life away but after just being so exhausted today, I am ready to make it to Friday! Lot's of driving ahead of me tomorrow to get to work but that's not always such a bad thing. I have had alot on my mind this evening and particularly with something personal. I have debated whether or not to share this on my blog but then again as I have stated before I decided I would share it as my blog's purpose is to be real with you.

I find that I struggle, even as a 30 year old, with always trying to please others. Sometimes I do so even at my own expense. Now some might wonder why that's such a bad thing. And if you are someone who does not struggle with this then let me explain. For some people pleasing others begins to consume them so much that they forget about themselves and living THEIR life instead of someone else's life. Thankfully I am not consumed to that point, however, I do let it affect my life to a certain degree. Praise God that I can say I am a pretty independent person that has made her own choices through out life as far as what college to attend, career choices, the man I marry, and how many children I will have, etc. despite opposition from others. But as I look deeper into things I accomplish on a daily basis I find that sometimes I can be completely knocked down when I realize someone isn't 100% pleased. I struggle with trying to keep everyone happy and as we all know, that's impossible. I have people in my life that I have found necessary to make sure that I keep happy and work my life around but as I get older and have amazing people that God has placed in my life I have learned that I can not live my life for someone else. My life is to be lived for Christ and everything else will fall into place.

I was reading this evening about a man that was so consumed with keeping others happy that through out his whole life he had chosen career paths, where to live, etc. all based on those around him and what they wanted. I am thankful that I have not taken it to that extreme but I do see the little things that affect my daily walk with God. I need to reevaluate my purpose for living and who it is that I should solely focus on in pleasing. I know that when I start worrying about keeping other's happy and what they are thinking then I have taken my focus off of Christ and redirected to someone on this earth. I want to thirst for Christ and be so focused on him that I lose sight of the unimportant things and worries that this world brings. I love Psalm 42:1 & 2 "As the deer pants for the streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" I desire for my thirst for Christ to be over powering! I know that when my focus has reached that level that the people I was so concerned with pleasing will either understand because they truly care about me and the way I live my life or will not understand, and that will only be confirmation for me in knowing I was spending too much time in keeping them happy. So I pray that as I continue to live a life pleasing to God that I will bathe my decisions in prayer and continue with the life God has intended for me.

Looking In The Mirror

Attending church on Sundays always seems to be a personal evaluation for me. I take in the lessons and try to look into my own life and how I can improve my relationship with God. I think sometimes the greatest source of growth for me is when I am reviewing my own lessons to teach the children. I am thankful to be part of a church that challenges me spiritually.

Today I had the chance to sit down and talk with an older lady in our church who shared with me that she misses having neighbors who check in on her. She talked about the people who lived in her neighborhood and how they are good people but they live busy lives. She went on to talk about how she would always take time to check on her neighbors but said in the last week she had slacked off. Listening to her was like getting a slap in the face. It was God's purpose for us to have that conversation today. Making time for others outside of church and family is a struggle for me. I do my best to keep up with the schedule that I have. But that's not enough, especially for my friends and neighbors. There are days I come home from work and I am so focused on getting in the house and getting dinner ready and getting Madison settled that I do not even notice my neighbor sitting on his front porch next door. We have really great neighbors and have been blessed with the neighborhood we live in. But I feel horrible at the lack of attention I give my neighbors. I do not even know the names of my neighbors that live to the right of me. They tend to live a life busy like mine and they have children. They seem to always be on the go. I am ashamed to admit this but I refuse to let this continue. It's so important for us to take notice of those around us. True, putting God and your family first is priority, but do not stop there.

I also have friends whom I have failed to make time for. God has blessed me with some amazing friendships and I am a fool to not spend more time with them than I do. I do not have it all figured out how I will learn to make more time for others but I know it can be done. I will make more time to spend with my neighbor on his front porch and talk about his day home. He's a good neighbor and we have had some good times with him but it has been a while since I have just sat down to chat with him. And for my other neighbors I am going to introduce myself to them the next time I see them in the yard. There's no reason why I should not already know them but sometimes we get so focused on our own mission for the day we do not even notice what is going on around us.

So as I look in the mirror and see the imperfections I will continue to strive to do better. I am thankful for today's church service and how it has opened my eyes to things left undone. I find myself to busy with life in general, sometimes getting caught up in things that really do not matter. I spent an entire day yesterday cleaning my house. While that needs to be done it is still not as important as time that I could have spent with friends. This will be something that I continue to pray about as I seek God's guidance. And I find this to be a good delima to be in. I have some amazing people in my life and I am so very thankful for that.

From Super Cleaner To Crashing

I am thinking I started out my day with a bit much enthusiasm for cleaning. What was I thinking?!! Saturdays are suppose to be an easy day! I was up just before 7:00and had breakfast with Madison. I started cleaning the kitchen including scrubbing the floor. I also decided I was tired of looking at those stains on my carpet so I moved the furniture and vacuumed and got James to help with shampooing the carpet. We ran out of the Kirby brand we like to use so we had to buy a different carpet shampoo. It did the job for the most part but there are still some areas that did not come up that my Kirby brand would have removed. Having a 3 year old, I need a dependable carpet cleaner so I'll be sure to have my usual on hand next time! Once the carpet was shampooed I had to wait until it dried before I could vacuum it again and move my furniture back. It felt like an all day event. In the mean time I managed to get some laundry done. I was also hoping to tackle some "cooking in bulk" to help through out the week. But as I sat down to plan my meals for the week I realized this was not the best week for that. I was going to cook and then freeze my meals ahead of time so that all we would have to do is thaw them out and warm them up as we got home. But in the recipes I picked for the week it would not be saving much time on them as they were quick and easy dinners. So I'll save that thought for another weekend.

Now my child is in bed...that's right, you read that right. Madison did not get a nap today so I always put her to bed a little earlier to make sure she gets her rest. She's a grumpy one when she doesn't get her sleep but then again who isn't?
So tonight, it's just me. Madison is upstairs sleeping and dreaming sweet dreams and James is at a church leadership conference. I'm thinking some good chic flicks are in order. These nights are rare so I'm taking advantage of it!

I wanted to share some scripture I have read this evening. I was needing some "lift me up" after cleaning all day and just feeling exhausted. Sometimes when I do not know what I want to read in the Bible, I use my blackberry Bible app. It allows me to choose from so many versions of the Bible and search key words that make for a fast search. It's another long passage that I wanted to share just because I found it so inspiring. It comes from the Message Version of Romans 5: 1-11:

By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us - set us right with him, make us fit for him - we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand - out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary - we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him. Now that we are set right with God by means of this sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice, there is no longer a question of being at odds with God in any way. If, when we were at our worst, we were put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death of his Son, now that we're at our best, just think of how our lives will expand and deepen by means of his Resurrection life! Now that we have actually received this amazing friendship with God, we are no longer content to simply say it in plodding prose. We sing and shout our praises to God through Jesus the Messiah!

I find scripture so encouraging. It's what I read when I'm needing to be lifted up. It's also what I read when I'm feeling like I'm on top of the world and needing to praise God even more. I am thankful for today and the energy God gave me to do some much needed cleaning. So very thankful for the hope I have in Christ and how it keeps me going daily. Now off to relax for the evening and to have some "me" time!

For The Working Mom

Feeling good about having the house clean before sitting down to relax tonight. Well, atleast some what clean that is. No scrubbing was involved but I did atleast get the dish washer loaded and started and the dryer is currently going as well!! The scrubbing will follow this weekend! I find that my day is filled with many different things that have to be done. Some days I choose not to get them all done and other's I accomplish it all! But how do we manage to get everything done and still have that time with our family.

I find that I have a passion to encourage working mothers to be proud of the choice they have made to work outside of the home. I am not saying that staying home with your child is not commendable, in fact, it's a great thing. I would be a stay at home mother myself atleast in the early years if finances allowed it. However, that is not the case and I find myself working 40 hours a week. I remember feeling guilty in the beginning when Madison was first born. It broke my heart to leave her and go to the office but as I spent MUCH time in prayer about it I found that though I still longed to be with her during the day I was also finding God's purpose for me at work. I've always had the type of job where it involved helping people. It's been my passion and I have always had the passion to help other's find the good in themselves when no one else seemed to care. So I find it necessary to fulfill God's many passions in me.

So I encourage you as a working mother who has found herself in a situation where working is a must. Do not feel guilty for not being at home all day with your child. Find peace in knowing that you have found trust worthy child care. Next find that purpose in your job no matter what it is. Figure out how you can make your time away from home count. Sure, one way it will count is the paycheck that comes but I mean for it to REALLY count. If I am going to be away from home 40 hours a week it has to be in a job that I am busy helping people. Simply working for the pay check would not sustain my joy. So I have prayed continuously that God would use me no matter where I am at. Finding that joy has helped me transform from the working mother who felt guilty about being away from her child to the working mother who is confident in her decision to work outside of the home and knows that God is pleased with my life.

You become confident when you find a balance. God provided that balance for me. Though there were many trying times during my decision to work outside of the home, God carried me through those times and grew my passion to be a dedicated mother, a faithful wife, and a hard working employee. Do not let anyone put you down because you are not with your children at all times. Do not automatically think that because you are not a stay at home mom that you are not giving your best to your child.

Sometimes life throws us in directions that maybe we would rather not take but it's up to us the attitude we take with that. I have chosen to find joy in my work when I am not with my child but I have also chosen to find joy in my child at all times. I do not carry my work home because there has to be boundaries. But I do carry the thoughts of my child everywhere. There are days I am at work and I wonder what she is doing or if she is eating her lunch like she needs to. Sometimes I call just to check on her. I know that she is being taken care of and that our time will come just after work. There are responsibilities that come with being a working mother. You have to choose to get off that couch after coming home from work and play with your child despite that lack of energy. True, you've been working all day, but that's even more the reason to give all of your attention to that child. Besides, you will get your time once your child's bedtime is here. Take advantage of your evenings home with your child after work. Just because you have been gone all day doesn't mean you can't take off that evening too! We will on occasion take Madison out to the park after work to have supper there at the picnic tables. Sometimes we just decide to take her to the waterfront to let her walk. She loves that! And most evenings we stay home and make sure we are interacting with her and showing her that we love her. Then there is the weekend which we focus on making it family time as much as possible. Be proud of your decision to work outside of the home. Take confidence in the plans God has for you and trust him. Make God number one and your family next and everything else will fall into place.

A Change Of Plans

I am missing the many events of the evening because just shortly after leaving church I noticed Madison had a fever. I noticed when I picked her up from class after church that she was feeling warm. She also wanted me to hold her while we spoke with everyone...which normally she is running around. So I noticed she was not acting herself. We had lunch out today and Madison was clearly warm and laid down beside me while we ate lunch. And sure enough as we got home and I took her temperature, she was running a fever. And we were doing so good for so long and here we go again!!!

I decided I needed to stay home with her because I know that I would not appreciate someone else bringing their sick child to church if it was something the other children could catch. So we stayed home despite the many events of the evening planned while James went to church. I arranged for my K-2 graders to join classes with the 3-5 graders. Hoping the class wasn't too large!! So thankful for those who made the accommodations!! I missed out on some good times this evening but I guess it's one of those things we can not control. Praying the youth event went well tonight and the many other plans for the evening also. James and I are so blessed to be a part of WBCC and it's most definitely a happening place. Thank you to all the people who are part of that church and make it a priority to volunteer their time for so many different things. Thank you for being God's hands!!



This is Madison in her pj's running a fever. I'm thankful that she wasn't too terribly fussy and still had her appetite...if you notice her mouth full of food ;)

When Times Are Difficult

I have had about 30 minutes of quiet time this morning. I figured it would be very important for me to do so since today would be a busy day. I had no intention of reading this passage this morning but in my search for something else I couldn't go past this passage when I came across it. In my quiet time this morning I read from Lamentations chapter 3, the message version. It was about someone who had given up on life altogether. We probably all know someone who has felt that way if it wasn't yourself. But I love the hope that is found in God. It reads as follows:

Lamentations 3:17-2: "I gave up on life altogether. I've forgotten what the good life is like. I said to myself, this is it. I'm finished. God is a lost cause. It's a good thing to hope for help from God. I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of the ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all - oh, how well I remember - the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness!! I'm sticking with God ( I say it over and over). God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The worst is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense."

I normally would not have typed an entire passage but I just felt this passage needed to be. What a powerful passage!! I wish I knew about this passage before!! I love it. I love how it's written to where it takes you from the lowest point in this person's life and yet shows the hope this person still has. And it doesn't stop there, there are even directions on how to pray to God and how to make it through those difficult times in your life! What encouragement!! I love how the bible is applicable at all times. I love how you can look for encouragement and even rebuke in the bible at any stage in your life and you will find it. I am thankful that God inspired the writer's of the Bible in such a way that the bible never becomes outdated!!