Growing

Okay so it's been a really long time since I last posted. Just know that in the time I have been away I have used it for some personal growth. For almost two months now, just over a month and a half, I have been running and walking each evening. It has taken me thirty years of my life to figure out how to stick with an exercise plan that works. Of course, up until I had Madison (which I was 27)I never really had to exercise (or so I thought). I enjoyed sports and was active BUT things changed after having Madison. Now that I am getting older I find that I have to work harder at maintaining my health and ensuring I am at a healthy weight. I also find that the energy I once had does not come naturally.

While I was running/walking I was listening to my Pandora station on my blackberry and had it set on a Chris Tomlin station. I absolutely love to run in my surrounding neighborhoods while listening to his music. It makes for an awesome praise and worship time to God and also makes for very peaceful alone time. I think that has been the driving force behind my ability to stick with exercising this time. In the past, I always had an excuse and mostly that I didn't have time and that I had a child to take care of. But I have found a way to fit it in and I'm so grateful I did.

As I continue trying to extend how far I run and how far I walk I find that my leg muscles are really getting worked. Sometimes it's even somewhat painful as I run because my body is not use to daily running. My muscles are having to reshape themselves and grow. I can't help but think of how similar the situation is with my spiritual life. Sometimes we find ourselves in a slum. Just kind of doing the same things over and over, more so out of habit. Or maybe we have found ourselves not doing anything at all. Something that I have also taken advantage of during my running is my prayer time with God. I have found the most perfect time of day to grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I couldn't ask for more. I have seen the blessings of handing over stress to God and in just a short period of time. It's hard giving worries over to God and trusting that he will take care of them. But I am a believer and I KNOW that God WILL take care of me. Sometimes growing, whether it's physical or spiritual, requires training to get better. So as I continue to grow I am trying to allow God to be more of my trainer instead of "on stand by".

The End Result

What if we never made a change again? We continued living life just as we are today. Would you be happy with the end result? Think back to this morning and the food you ate for breakfast. Look at your food choices for the rest of the day. Would you be happy with the end result of the physical you if you continued to eat the same? What about financially? What if you continued to spend your money just as you are today? Would you be happy with the end result? What if we continued to parent just as you do today, spending the same amount of time with our children and using the same behaviors in front of our children? Would you be happy with the end result? What if you continued spiritually just as you are? What if today repeated on a daily basis. Think back to the start of your day and how many conversations you have had with God. What if you made the same decisions for the rest of your life whether it represented what pleased God or not? Repeating the same actions and words. Would you be happy with the end result?

Some of us do live the same day over and over. It's hard to change from what we are use to living on a daily basis. It's hard to change what was modeled to us either from family or the friends we chose to hang around. Change is difficult. Change is not the "popular" choice. But if we find ourselves not currently pleased with our physical appearance, our financial situation, our parenting skills, our walk with God, etc., then maybe change is going to be necessary to reach some sort of acceptance of where we are at. Maybe change is what it will take to see some sort of growth in the direction we desire. 2 Corinthians 5:7 & 8 of the Message Version of the Bible says this: "It's what we trust in but don't yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us?" Making changes in our life requires faith. We have no clue what will happen the next day if we choose to live it differently but know that if you are looking at God while making that change, God will see you through it. There may (and will be) difficult times or "ruts in the road" that will cause you to want to give up and go back to the same living that you were dissatisfied with. But keep pushing and keep trusting. Then tell me what you see the end result to be.

Looking In The Mirror

Attending church on Sundays always seems to be a personal evaluation for me. I take in the lessons and try to look into my own life and how I can improve my relationship with God. I think sometimes the greatest source of growth for me is when I am reviewing my own lessons to teach the children. I am thankful to be part of a church that challenges me spiritually.

Today I had the chance to sit down and talk with an older lady in our church who shared with me that she misses having neighbors who check in on her. She talked about the people who lived in her neighborhood and how they are good people but they live busy lives. She went on to talk about how she would always take time to check on her neighbors but said in the last week she had slacked off. Listening to her was like getting a slap in the face. It was God's purpose for us to have that conversation today. Making time for others outside of church and family is a struggle for me. I do my best to keep up with the schedule that I have. But that's not enough, especially for my friends and neighbors. There are days I come home from work and I am so focused on getting in the house and getting dinner ready and getting Madison settled that I do not even notice my neighbor sitting on his front porch next door. We have really great neighbors and have been blessed with the neighborhood we live in. But I feel horrible at the lack of attention I give my neighbors. I do not even know the names of my neighbors that live to the right of me. They tend to live a life busy like mine and they have children. They seem to always be on the go. I am ashamed to admit this but I refuse to let this continue. It's so important for us to take notice of those around us. True, putting God and your family first is priority, but do not stop there.

I also have friends whom I have failed to make time for. God has blessed me with some amazing friendships and I am a fool to not spend more time with them than I do. I do not have it all figured out how I will learn to make more time for others but I know it can be done. I will make more time to spend with my neighbor on his front porch and talk about his day home. He's a good neighbor and we have had some good times with him but it has been a while since I have just sat down to chat with him. And for my other neighbors I am going to introduce myself to them the next time I see them in the yard. There's no reason why I should not already know them but sometimes we get so focused on our own mission for the day we do not even notice what is going on around us.

So as I look in the mirror and see the imperfections I will continue to strive to do better. I am thankful for today's church service and how it has opened my eyes to things left undone. I find myself to busy with life in general, sometimes getting caught up in things that really do not matter. I spent an entire day yesterday cleaning my house. While that needs to be done it is still not as important as time that I could have spent with friends. This will be something that I continue to pray about as I seek God's guidance. And I find this to be a good delima to be in. I have some amazing people in my life and I am so very thankful for that.