I have been reading a book entitled “This Isn’t The Life I Signed Up For” by Donna Partow. I read it before when I went through a women’s bible study (with some women I miss by the way) about 6 or 7 years ago. It’s amazing how reading the same book 6 years later can take on a whole different meaning and help improve your Christian walk. However, I have to admit when I came across the book in our library my first thought was to put it back on the shelf since I had already read it. I was not interested in reading it again because I felt like it would not have much to offer me at this stage in my life. I mean the title itself sounds like it’s a book that only people who hate their life would read! But I decided to read it anyway (In case you can’t notice, I really was not interested in reading this book).
In our spiritual life, sometimes we can reach a point where we are blind to things that hold us back from a deeper relationship with God. So I prayed that God would guide me in pin pointing the areas in my life that needed some special attention. Areas that maybe I had looked over or was blind to. Little did I know what God would reveal to me throughout this book. A quote that stuck out (among many) was “God never reveals our pain just to hurt us. He reveals it so he can heal it.” So I prayed that God would reveal to me any pain that I had buried deep within. And guess what, He did! It was something I knew was there but I guess I had found my own way of dealing with it. One of those situations where you felt like you had done everything humanly possible to heal the situation so you just kind of gave up and “swept it under the rug”. Except it really wasn’t swept away…it was still nibbling at the heart, bit by bit. I had found that my attitude had become negative about the situation. D. Partow mentions in her book that a good clue to knowing you are bitter with someone is by listening to your tone of voice when talking to them. When I read that I realized I had not swept “it” under the rug. I had managed to hold on to it for years because I felt like I was in the right and was the one dealing in the right way. But after reading that I realized it’s not about who’s right, it’s not about what someone said, it’s about our relationship with God. The way we treat other people is a huge reflection of our relationship with God. So I knew it was time to let go of everything and hand it all over completely to God.
It felt good to let go of it and I realized that as happy as I was before, I had even more room in my heart now for more joy. Something else D. Partow mentioned was this, “What is Satan’s scheme in your life? It’s real simple. To keep you stuck. To keep you so focused on who did what, and who said what, and how dare they, and you’ve had it, etc., that you can’t move forward with the rest of your life”. I am so thankful for the many ways God continues to speak to me and I don’t know about you but I will not allow Satan to run my life. Life is too short to miss out on all the blessings that are waiting!!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Humbling
I had a movie night with James tonight and of course it was a real tear jerker. I will not go into detail for those of you who have not watched the movie "Extraordinary Measures". However, just a glimpse at the back of the movie cover, you know it's going to be a hard one to watch and keep a dry eye.
Maybe I have a difficult time watching movies like this because I am a mother. I find that I think about Madison and think about how I would deal with such pressures. Long story short, I just want to say how thankful I am to God for the MANY blessings he has given me. It is humbling to me to watch movies like this (let alone watch others experience it)and yet, still find that I can manage to complain about something. I have been blessed with an amazing family and an amazing God who looks out for me and keeps His word. A job that pays the bills and a roof over my head along with all the extra blessings. I can not ask for more.
I pray that I always count the blessings first instead of looking at what is wrong. Living a Christian life is so very rewarding and I would not have it any other way. The good and the bad, I would choose it over and over again.
Maybe I have a difficult time watching movies like this because I am a mother. I find that I think about Madison and think about how I would deal with such pressures. Long story short, I just want to say how thankful I am to God for the MANY blessings he has given me. It is humbling to me to watch movies like this (let alone watch others experience it)and yet, still find that I can manage to complain about something. I have been blessed with an amazing family and an amazing God who looks out for me and keeps His word. A job that pays the bills and a roof over my head along with all the extra blessings. I can not ask for more.
I pray that I always count the blessings first instead of looking at what is wrong. Living a Christian life is so very rewarding and I would not have it any other way. The good and the bad, I would choose it over and over again.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Growing
Okay so it's been a really long time since I last posted. Just know that in the time I have been away I have used it for some personal growth. For almost two months now, just over a month and a half, I have been running and walking each evening. It has taken me thirty years of my life to figure out how to stick with an exercise plan that works. Of course, up until I had Madison (which I was 27)I never really had to exercise (or so I thought). I enjoyed sports and was active BUT things changed after having Madison. Now that I am getting older I find that I have to work harder at maintaining my health and ensuring I am at a healthy weight. I also find that the energy I once had does not come naturally.
While I was running/walking I was listening to my Pandora station on my blackberry and had it set on a Chris Tomlin station. I absolutely love to run in my surrounding neighborhoods while listening to his music. It makes for an awesome praise and worship time to God and also makes for very peaceful alone time. I think that has been the driving force behind my ability to stick with exercising this time. In the past, I always had an excuse and mostly that I didn't have time and that I had a child to take care of. But I have found a way to fit it in and I'm so grateful I did.
As I continue trying to extend how far I run and how far I walk I find that my leg muscles are really getting worked. Sometimes it's even somewhat painful as I run because my body is not use to daily running. My muscles are having to reshape themselves and grow. I can't help but think of how similar the situation is with my spiritual life. Sometimes we find ourselves in a slum. Just kind of doing the same things over and over, more so out of habit. Or maybe we have found ourselves not doing anything at all. Something that I have also taken advantage of during my running is my prayer time with God. I have found the most perfect time of day to grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I couldn't ask for more. I have seen the blessings of handing over stress to God and in just a short period of time. It's hard giving worries over to God and trusting that he will take care of them. But I am a believer and I KNOW that God WILL take care of me. Sometimes growing, whether it's physical or spiritual, requires training to get better. So as I continue to grow I am trying to allow God to be more of my trainer instead of "on stand by".
While I was running/walking I was listening to my Pandora station on my blackberry and had it set on a Chris Tomlin station. I absolutely love to run in my surrounding neighborhoods while listening to his music. It makes for an awesome praise and worship time to God and also makes for very peaceful alone time. I think that has been the driving force behind my ability to stick with exercising this time. In the past, I always had an excuse and mostly that I didn't have time and that I had a child to take care of. But I have found a way to fit it in and I'm so grateful I did.
As I continue trying to extend how far I run and how far I walk I find that my leg muscles are really getting worked. Sometimes it's even somewhat painful as I run because my body is not use to daily running. My muscles are having to reshape themselves and grow. I can't help but think of how similar the situation is with my spiritual life. Sometimes we find ourselves in a slum. Just kind of doing the same things over and over, more so out of habit. Or maybe we have found ourselves not doing anything at all. Something that I have also taken advantage of during my running is my prayer time with God. I have found the most perfect time of day to grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I couldn't ask for more. I have seen the blessings of handing over stress to God and in just a short period of time. It's hard giving worries over to God and trusting that he will take care of them. But I am a believer and I KNOW that God WILL take care of me. Sometimes growing, whether it's physical or spiritual, requires training to get better. So as I continue to grow I am trying to allow God to be more of my trainer instead of "on stand by".
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Burn Out
It's taken me a while to get back to my blog. I haven't been feeling myself for the past few weeks. I have found it amazing what stress can do to the body. I was even convinced I might be pregnant but three pregnancy test later it is a definite no!! Swoo!!! I was sweating bullets on that one! I am typically easy going and no worries kind a gal' but not lately. James was even feeling very similar. So I know what I do when I get stressed and I'm guessing we all have different ways of dealing. But you best believe I am eating the most unhealthy thing I can find. All I can say is thank God I am not typically this way. I couldn't survive!
It has taken me until today to really try to chill out about all the stress. I am slowly getting myself back on track with eating healthy and taking vitamins again and increasing physical activity. My wii comes in handy for the exercise, especially on evenings or mornings before work that I do not feel like leaving the house.
I remember in Sunday School, maybe a month ago, we were talking about what people worried about. And of course, I am sitting there thinking that I typically am not a worrier. I guess you would call me the "situational worrier". I do not worry about day to day things, but when it comes to unexpected events it's a different story. I have to say I am disappointed in myself for these past few weeks. I have not taken my own advice like I would give someone else dealing with stress. I have tried dealing with my stress in my own way day after day and it has not gone away. I am ashamed to admit that I have not even prayed on a daily basis for God to take my stress away, not everyday. I have not been persistent in something that I truly needed. Someone who is all powerful and could take my stress away in an instant, I did not pray and ask for his help regularly. It's amazing to me how much strength I think I have in myself at times with out giving God the credit. It is God who has given me the strength to continue despite the stress filled weeks I have had. I fail to thank Him during times like these for the things that I have been blessed with.
For the longest time I knew there were little things that were just adding up to my stress level but when I just couldn't get past it all I realized I was just burned out. It is that time of year again and I can NOT wait for vacation. I am in desperate need of one like never before. My whole family is in need of it. In need of a time to get away from all schedules and to do exactly what we WANT to do TOGETHER as a family. It's sad that this time rarely even comes once a year for the length of time we will be taken. But I am thankful that it is coming and I know that I will make it. I have been feeling better today and have been doing a much better job taking care of myself with things I typically postpone. With all the stress, I was desperately needing to get back into the Chiropractor routine and I have finally done that. It's amazing what a few crackings of the neck can do!
Psalm 18:32 "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."
So after these past few weeks I will pick myself up again and dust myself off and refocus my eyes on God for they have not been focusing there as often as they should.
It has taken me until today to really try to chill out about all the stress. I am slowly getting myself back on track with eating healthy and taking vitamins again and increasing physical activity. My wii comes in handy for the exercise, especially on evenings or mornings before work that I do not feel like leaving the house.
I remember in Sunday School, maybe a month ago, we were talking about what people worried about. And of course, I am sitting there thinking that I typically am not a worrier. I guess you would call me the "situational worrier". I do not worry about day to day things, but when it comes to unexpected events it's a different story. I have to say I am disappointed in myself for these past few weeks. I have not taken my own advice like I would give someone else dealing with stress. I have tried dealing with my stress in my own way day after day and it has not gone away. I am ashamed to admit that I have not even prayed on a daily basis for God to take my stress away, not everyday. I have not been persistent in something that I truly needed. Someone who is all powerful and could take my stress away in an instant, I did not pray and ask for his help regularly. It's amazing to me how much strength I think I have in myself at times with out giving God the credit. It is God who has given me the strength to continue despite the stress filled weeks I have had. I fail to thank Him during times like these for the things that I have been blessed with.
For the longest time I knew there were little things that were just adding up to my stress level but when I just couldn't get past it all I realized I was just burned out. It is that time of year again and I can NOT wait for vacation. I am in desperate need of one like never before. My whole family is in need of it. In need of a time to get away from all schedules and to do exactly what we WANT to do TOGETHER as a family. It's sad that this time rarely even comes once a year for the length of time we will be taken. But I am thankful that it is coming and I know that I will make it. I have been feeling better today and have been doing a much better job taking care of myself with things I typically postpone. With all the stress, I was desperately needing to get back into the Chiropractor routine and I have finally done that. It's amazing what a few crackings of the neck can do!
Psalm 18:32 "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."
So after these past few weeks I will pick myself up again and dust myself off and refocus my eyes on God for they have not been focusing there as often as they should.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Madison With A New Skill
Today was Madison's first day roller skating!
We were both completely wore out after roller skating! I was so proud of her how she learned so quickly. I think the roller skating thing will become a regular activity for us!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Is It Date Night Yet?
I woke up today just really missing my husband. Even though we have not been apart other than for work, I missed him. We are finding it more and more difficult to make sure we get in our date nights. We both agreed last night we have got to do a better job of scheduling our date nights before other events take its place. We find ourselves having this conversation almost regularly. It’s so important that as a couple, and especially a couple with a child, that we do not forget who we are as just “James and Andrea”.
Riding to work the other morning I was listening to a Christian radio station and it was talking about marriage. It said one of the main reasons that some Christian marriages end in divorce is because couples are putting all of their efforts into the children and forgetting about each other. When couples no longer have their children to focus on, they realize they do not know the person in front of them. I think so many couples have the best of intentions in making sure they are being the best parents they can but forget that sometimes the best thing they can do is model to their children a healthy Christian marriage. I know for James and I, Madison is a huge part of us, and rightfully so. She is very special to us and such an amazing joy to have! But there has to be a middle ground. One of balance between time spent with the children and time spent alone with your spouse.
Having a child is such a wonderful thing, but you have to keep your priorities right. James and I both find it important that we model to Madison how a husband and wife should treat each other. So in my rambling tonight, I just want to make sure that you and your spouse take time for each other. James and I will very soon be planning a date night for just us. I woke up this morning and told him I was ready for a hot date! I am convinced I have the best husband in the world and I know that I am only blessed as much as I am because of God.
Riding to work the other morning I was listening to a Christian radio station and it was talking about marriage. It said one of the main reasons that some Christian marriages end in divorce is because couples are putting all of their efforts into the children and forgetting about each other. When couples no longer have their children to focus on, they realize they do not know the person in front of them. I think so many couples have the best of intentions in making sure they are being the best parents they can but forget that sometimes the best thing they can do is model to their children a healthy Christian marriage. I know for James and I, Madison is a huge part of us, and rightfully so. She is very special to us and such an amazing joy to have! But there has to be a middle ground. One of balance between time spent with the children and time spent alone with your spouse.
Having a child is such a wonderful thing, but you have to keep your priorities right. James and I both find it important that we model to Madison how a husband and wife should treat each other. So in my rambling tonight, I just want to make sure that you and your spouse take time for each other. James and I will very soon be planning a date night for just us. I woke up this morning and told him I was ready for a hot date! I am convinced I have the best husband in the world and I know that I am only blessed as much as I am because of God.
Friday, May 7, 2010
A Special Day
I am currently hearing loud crashing sounds upstairs...which tells me that instead of Madison falling asleep that she has convinced her daddy it's play time! They are too funny together. Let's just say Madison has her daddy wrapped around that little finger of hers. I have been taking some time to focus on my family and other blessings that God has blessed me with this week. I felt like I had been spending too much time blogging on a daily basis. It was a good break this week. I thoroughly enjoy blogging, however, sometimes it can become a bit consuming.
I felt like I had a few other things I could take care of instead of taking time to blog this week so I did. I pray that as I continue to blog that God uses my life as an encouragement to someone else. Now I can not say that I have lived this long difficult life that would be a tremendous example for someone else but I have had my struggles. God has blessed me tremendously. And though right now, I am on a mountain, I know there will be valleys to come. I can not help to think what some of my posts on my blog would have read if I had started blogging a few years ago. But I am excited how God continues to grow my desires for different things. I never thought that I would openly share my life with others via the Internet. But I am convinced that it is just another way of witnessing as we live in a world that has gone cyber.
And speaking of focusing on some of God's blessings this week, tomorrow I will be spending the day with lots of family in celebration of Mother's Day. The day is for my grandma Grace as we celebrate having her this Mother's Day. I think everyone will feel a sense of hope and joy in Christ tomorrow as we realize the reason she is still here. A lot of us struggled seeing her in the hospital and struggled with many questions to why she would go through what she went through, but in looking back I can see God's hand in so many different things. I am so very thankful for everyone who had a part in her recovery. So I am excited about tomorrow and bringing all of our families together to enjoy the day. I am looking forward to taking lots of pictures! And of course, Madison is excited to get to play with everyone and has already decided she wants to wear a sun dress!
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