I have been reading a book entitled “This Isn’t The Life I Signed Up For” by Donna Partow. I read it before when I went through a women’s bible study (with some women I miss by the way) about 6 or 7 years ago. It’s amazing how reading the same book 6 years later can take on a whole different meaning and help improve your Christian walk. However, I have to admit when I came across the book in our library my first thought was to put it back on the shelf since I had already read it. I was not interested in reading it again because I felt like it would not have much to offer me at this stage in my life. I mean the title itself sounds like it’s a book that only people who hate their life would read! But I decided to read it anyway (In case you can’t notice, I really was not interested in reading this book).
In our spiritual life, sometimes we can reach a point where we are blind to things that hold us back from a deeper relationship with God. So I prayed that God would guide me in pin pointing the areas in my life that needed some special attention. Areas that maybe I had looked over or was blind to. Little did I know what God would reveal to me throughout this book. A quote that stuck out (among many) was “God never reveals our pain just to hurt us. He reveals it so he can heal it.” So I prayed that God would reveal to me any pain that I had buried deep within. And guess what, He did! It was something I knew was there but I guess I had found my own way of dealing with it. One of those situations where you felt like you had done everything humanly possible to heal the situation so you just kind of gave up and “swept it under the rug”. Except it really wasn’t swept away…it was still nibbling at the heart, bit by bit. I had found that my attitude had become negative about the situation. D. Partow mentions in her book that a good clue to knowing you are bitter with someone is by listening to your tone of voice when talking to them. When I read that I realized I had not swept “it” under the rug. I had managed to hold on to it for years because I felt like I was in the right and was the one dealing in the right way. But after reading that I realized it’s not about who’s right, it’s not about what someone said, it’s about our relationship with God. The way we treat other people is a huge reflection of our relationship with God. So I knew it was time to let go of everything and hand it all over completely to God.
It felt good to let go of it and I realized that as happy as I was before, I had even more room in my heart now for more joy. Something else D. Partow mentioned was this, “What is Satan’s scheme in your life? It’s real simple. To keep you stuck. To keep you so focused on who did what, and who said what, and how dare they, and you’ve had it, etc., that you can’t move forward with the rest of your life”. I am so thankful for the many ways God continues to speak to me and I don’t know about you but I will not allow Satan to run my life. Life is too short to miss out on all the blessings that are waiting!!